The Contents of a "Certain Secret Government Warehouse (tm)"

The following items were all discovered packed into crates at a "Certain Secret Government Warehouse (tm)"! This is not an exhaustive list. As the readers of this forum find more items for the warehouse, feel free to add to the list...

1. The Lost Ark of the Covenant (of course)
2. The True Cross
3. The Fake Cross
4. The Shroud of Turin
5. The Pillowcase of Turin
6. The Washcloth of Turin
7. The Ten Commandments
8. The FIFTEEN Commandments
9. A dead skin diver, impaled on a tree and burnt to a crisp
10. A Suitcase with a luggage tag that reads "property of D.B. Cooper"
11. The Golden Fleece
12. The Golden Afgan
13. There is no number 13
14. A freezer containing Walt Disney
15. A cow with it's internal organs surgically removed by no procedure known to man
16. One sucked goat
17. A map to the location of Jimmy Hoffa's body
18. Jimmy Hoffa's Body
19. The Pompatus of Love
20. The Book of Love (with the author credited on the front)
21. The third word that ends in "gry"
22. John Dillinger's naughty bits
23. FNORD
24. The October Surprise
25. Big black slab collected by anthroplogists in Olduvai Gorge
26. A Golden Lasso. Anyone tied in it is forced to tell the truth.
27. The plans for Colossus, signed by Dr. Forbin
28. Pages that were missing from the logbook of the Marie Celeste
29. A photograph showing Elvis, Bigfoot, Nessie, and an alien "grey" posing in front of Devil's Tower, Wyoming
30. The "magic bullet".

(DISCLAIMER: This is a thread for people to add items that can trigger a modern RPG adventure. None of this is meant to be real. This is all in good fun. Have at it!)

31) Crystal Skulls with no tool marks.
32) 1 Pillus (Roman Spear).
33) Several Common Puter Cup, dated to 30 AD.

JFK's brain.
W's brain.
A bug-free version of Windoze.
Gary Gygax's ego (takes up three storeys).
Common sense.
Maps to El Dorado and Cibola.
The 300 MPG carburetor.
The car that runs on H₂O.
A list of 11 herbs and spices.

The Roswell crash video
The map of the Atlantis island (or continent)
Decipher's marketing plans concerning the CODA RPG line
Two pills, one red and one blue
One human skull, 12 billion years old
The US flag with 200 stars
A paper reading "The answer is 42" (with a couple of mice nearby)
A moskito frozen in amber
A can of spinach
Some aether in a bottle

The Duck of Doom
Spear and Magic Helmet
The Holy Grail
Map to the Fountain Of Youth

These folks have done something similar...

Warehouse 23's basement

some examples:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A strange yellow mushy substance, smelling faintly of strawberries. Apparently able to stretch to infinite lengths, it is nonetheless almost indestructible. A sticker attached to it reads "Alpha Centauri Luggage Check-in".

A globe of the continents as they were 65 million years ago. There are clear borders marked on in, and country/city names in some unknown alphabet

A set of gold plates from ancient Tenochtitlan that describe, in language understandable even to the average viewer of the 700 Club, how to set the time on your VCR

Ten cans of unopened instant drink mix. The bunny on the box has fangs. It says in bold letters, "Artificial Plasma Flavored."

A large foam rubber letter 'Q'. If squeezed once, a high squeaky voice exclaims "Oooh, don't do that!" If squeezed again, a voice that shakes the Warehouse proclaims, "I SAID DON'T DO THAT!" If squeezed a third time, a blast of energy scorches the squeezer for 4d+6 damage, and a smug voice proclaims, "I warned you!"

--several vials marked "Velociraptor, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus Rex" in a shaving cream can.

- A book guiding you to the location of the Holy Grail. Autographed by Adolf Hitler.

- The original CIA plans for JFK's assassination.

- Reports on what really happened at Roswell, with the Hindemberg among other things.

- An Illuminati lifetime membership card (and subscription to regular puplication "World Control Monthly")

- Alien Corpses in Crogenic Freeze, no sign of autopsy.

- Some Hanging Chads marked up as from Florida 2000 electorial district.

- A victorian Time Machine, built around a clockwork mechanism.

- Babbages computer, in full working order.

- A Perpetual motion machine.

- Schrodigers Cat (Box unopened)

- Props from an ultra-realistic moonscape set, including lander (unused).

- George W Bush's brain (unused).

- Iraq's weapons of Mass Desrtruction (Boxed and marked up with postage for Bagdad from Washinton, but 'returned to sender').

- a replica of Anduril as seen in the LOTR movies, but testing shows it is around 10000 years of age

- an old oil lamp with traces of being polished

- map with the exact fleet position of Hitler's UFO armada under Antarctica with a photo of him at the healm and showing him in his 100s

- A photograph of Tower Eiffel getting built with a small young man, holding a skateboard and wearing Nike shoes and a tall old man with long white hair

- a piece of note in unknown letters and language which nonetheless anybody can read and understand, reading 'I am'.

- a silver DVD box labelled Episode VII, Episode VIII, Episode IX

- a steal coffin of eastern european origin and locked. A hammer and a wooden stake on top of it

- a cup of tea, earl gray, hot

- a broken robotic forearm along with a damaged, cubic computer chip

- a complete, although somewhat burned armor similiar to that of Darth Vader. Again testing shows it is 200000 years old and that it has traces of elemets we do not have in our solar system

- a book, sealed sevenfold

- a box with cobbles and labeled 'good intentions'

- a mysterious cd-case labeled 'the only one working windows version'

- a doorman named Adam Pierson

- old sketches of a sinister plan to boycot Columbus' plan to try an alternate route to India by placing an artificially created continent in his way, blocking all the way from North to South

- a vial with DNA of "an honest used car seller"

- a large chest with golden coins in it, featuring skulls. One of the coins is stained with blood

- the Necronomicon

- The Book of the Dead

- The Book of the Living

- a map showing Troy


:D

- The Book of the Dead
Tibetan or Egyptian?

- an itemized list of violations of Trek-RPG.net's "no political posts" rule. Includes a link to this thread.

- a bloodstained carpet tagged "V. Foster."

- a box with styrofoam lining and a man-shaped indentation. A label reads "Gore v 2.0"

- several notebooks, written in an indeciperable code. The covers read "My life" by H.Hughes.

- a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and the word 'cat' written in in crayon.

- a Hungarian-English phrasebook with all wrong translations.

- a Norwegian Blue parrot (deceased).

- a brochure for "Tyme Sefari, Ink."

- the correct length of the Starship USS Defiant

- a hermetically sealed titanium vault, three meters on each side, wrapped in chains, with thirteen separate locks. Tucked into the links of one chain is a handwritten note: "Do NOT taunt 'Happy Fun Ball!!!'"

- a large box of videotapes, marked "Chronoscopic Tests" and labeled "#1-140"

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Owen E Oulton
- The Book of the Dead
Tibetan or Egyptian?

---

Atlantean.

A small, gold puzzle box.

A jar containing what looks to be cherry pie filling

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Owen E Oulton
- The Book of the Dead
Tibetan or Egyptian?

---

all of them, you can never have enough :D

-- dark shades and a set of contacts, both tagged with warning labels that explains "They Live".

-- a large, metal "loop" that seems to be two rings resting inside of each other. The inner ring has strange pictures engraved in it, the outer ring has semi-triangular objects spaced around it.

-- a large block of ice, inside is frozen a strange amalgam of a man, a couple of dogs, and something unidentifiable...all compiled into one disgusting mass of a body.

-- a box marked "Soilent Green -- Contents Edible"

-- A large, old relic of a super computer, about the size of two chest freezers, bearing the initials WOPR.

-- a man sized glass chamber, sealed and taped on both ends, marked "Dark One". The chamber, even though made of glass, cannot be seen through as it appears black inside.

-- plans for a space station named "Babylon Project One".

-- close up pictures of the surface of Mars, showing humanoid type "unknowns" removing the assorted "pyramids" seen on earlier Mars overflights.

-- pictures from astronaut Neil Armstrong, showing the other craft that landed on the moon shortly after he walked on the surface.

-- several locked vertical files, all with the inscription "Property of F. Mulder".