Funniest Game Moments

Klingon Counselor to the Vulcan Doctor when encountering a 6 foot diameter creature that looks like Pac-man with two legs and a triple row of teeth mouth,

"How's this for logic, Pointy-Ears? I'm sensing we're about to be invited to dinner."

Not so much a "funny moment" as a "funny situation".

In my USS Dauntless campaign, Lt. Mark Decker (the Male Human Conn Officer) and Lt. T'Mor (the Female Vulcan Ops Officer) have developed a 'Spock/McCoy' relationship whereby they exchange verbal barbs with one another on a regular basis. However, at the same time there is a decidedly sexual undercurrent in place between them that has led to more than a few 'interesting' events during game play (something heightened by the fact that the players are, in fact, husband-and-wife).

Details, oh give us details.

One of my favourite moments from my old Star Trek: Excalibur game was the phaser fight in the turbolift. Some of the Excalibur's officers had tracked down some renegade Starfleet Intelligence officers (movie era, run about 14 years ago, but easily rationalised retroactively as Section 31) and cornered them in a turbolift. Phaser beams started flying back and forth, but if you've ever seen security videos of inconvenience store robberies you've seen gunfights at 2 metre ranges where nobody hits anything. This was the same thing - a flurry of shots where the closest anyone came to hitting anyone else was a shot which exited the door and blew away a chunk of wall panelling right beside the one PC who wasn't in the lift. He then decided "Screw it!" and stunned everyone in the lift with a wide-angle shot.

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I don't know how funny this really is but here goes....

The ship's Vulcan chief Engineer was using a holodeck to meditate (don't ask me why, I was just the GM). Another player was asked to "...rouse the chief for the meeting..." Said player decided to change the holodeck from "Peacful Meditation Program 47" to "Worf's Kill-Aerobics level 99" They had to dock the ship to clean the holodeck. We all had a laugh later. I guess you had to be there huh?

Two ships in a nebula fight ended up stern to stern when the sensor fog cleared momentarily. Both had aft firing torpedoes. Neither had working aft shields....

Comments from the players after the smoke cleared were predictable.:D
And unprintable in a family forum.:D

Regulan character going undercover in a 1970-ish Earth-like planet has his hat blown off caught on a flagpole near a windowsil of a several-story building by a sudden burst of wind, blowing his cover. The PC Captain quickly radios the ship to beam down another one on top of the other character's head. When someone pokes out the window to toss his cap down, the character reaches to take the other hat off again in PLAIN SIGHT of the NPC, who proceeds to scream "Holy !@!*@(#*#@" upon seeing the cat-man and call the police on the group. (They later discovered that building to be a police station.)

I'm still laughing at the idiocy of that player. :D

Sometimes the subconscious gets in the way of fleet movements.

These ships arrived aaat a starbase in this order:

The civilian ship Gamemaster (a flying casino that has appeared several times in my series)
USS Eric Kanby (Nebula class named after the late captain of the first ship in the sector)
USS Bottage (Excelsior class used as a transport now)
And a foreign power ship, Baisekts.

This may seem pointless until the ops specialist of the base told one of the PC's that the current ship population was...well, here is the quote:

"We currently have the Gamemaster, the Kanby, the Bottage, and the Baisekts."

Of course, being the narrator, that was my line as the ops specialist was an NPC.

The PCs were stealthily approaching a Ferengi ship (like Quark's in Little Green men) that was landed on an island if wasn't supposed to be on. It was the morning, so I decided the Ferengi (only two of them) were sleeping and eating their breakfast (and not surveying their ship's sensors). After some time, they eventually went on their bridge.

Me, to the Medical Officer's player : "Your tricorder shows they are now both in the cabin... and [ critical success ] their adrenaline level suddenly rises".
Medical Officer's player : "That's strange... they go in their cabin to take adrenaline injections ?"

Trinity, you want details? Try this one for size ...

Situation: Decker and T'Mor, while returning via shuttlecraft from a mission, are forced to make an emergency landing on an ice planet and work together to survive until the USS Dauntless (their mother ship) rescued them. Night is coming and the temperature is really starting to fall.

DECKER: "T'Mor, will you please get under this survival blanket!"
T'MOR: "Intriguing - I was not aware that Human hormonal responses was connected with the generation of body heat."

Later in the scenario, I threw a Yeti-like creature at the PC's to see how they would react. T'Mor (through the expenditure of a Courage Point) was able to divert some of the shuttlecraft's remaining power to electrify the hull.

DECKER: "T'Mor, hurry - the phaser's not having any effect on this thing!"
T'MOR: "Lieutenant, insofar as phasers are ineffective, I doubt that hysteria will prove a better weapon."

In a game I actually didn't run, my engineer/priest (that limited cyborg thing) had had become the object of affection for a hermaphroditic wolf looking humanoid.

The ship's doctor, a vulcan, had the only astute comment to make about this after the first officer (a pc finally) made a discreet enquiry as to the health risks that might come about since the effect on the hermaphrodite were obvious to all save my character.

Doc: "I see no reason for this relationship to jeapordize the health of anyone on the ship. The wolfen is obviously going through puberty and so will eventually grow out of this hormonally driven state. To use a human euphimism, it is only a case of puppy love."

Yes, do groan. For that alone, the doc's player was accosted by small bits of bread we had been using for our fondue.