Gender preference

I have no problem with people playing opposite genders as long as they're serious about it, and roleplay the character in a realistic and believable fashion. My group is quite large, over thirty of us all together (not all of us play together at the same times, most of the time, though it has happened a few times, of course), and they're all exceedingly talented roleplayers, and take it quite seriously. Our group is roughly 50/50 on gender, not exactly, but almost half of them are women. I've also found and known many female gamers in my time. You'll find an enormous number of them online in online chat rooms that cater to roleplaying, for example, as well.

I have played with literally hundreds of different people over the thirty five years I've been roleplaying (you guessed it, I stared with the Basic D&D boxed set in April of 1974), and those players have run the gamut from extremely casual to extremely talented and into it, and everywhere in between.

Most of those I've played with that have played opposite genders have done so with varying degrees of success. Some have been eeriely convincing, and some have been absolutely disasterous. That being said, I guess it depends on the individual player and circumstances whether or not it bothers me.

It doesn't hurt having my kid sister, the shrink, playing to get all sorts of psychological insight into such matters in the group, either. *chuckles*

I've seen people pay characters of opposite gener. I've even done it myself. THe results depnd on how well the player can roleplay. If they suck at roleplaying to begin with, then they will suck at playing the opposite gender. If they are good rolplayers, then they will probably be able to pull it off.

I once ran a Trek campaign where a woman was playing a male character. Upon getting the first shore leave in the campaign and being asked what she was going to do she replied, "go get laid."

That's a pretty broad generalization. Just because a person has a hard time rp'ing a character of the opposite gender doesn't mean that they're a bad roleplayer, and vice versa. I've known very good roleplayers who just couldn't roleplay opposite gender characters.

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Originally Posted by Nolmir

That's a pretty broad generalization. Just because a person has a hard time rp'ing a character of the opposite gender doesn't mean that they're a bad roleplayer, and vice versa. I've known very good roleplayers who just couldn't roleplay opposite gender characters.

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I think you took things in reverse. I didn't mean to imply that someone is a bad roleplayer just because they can't play a convincing cross gender character. I meant that is someone is a bad roleplayer they are going to be bad at role-playing a character of opposite gender.

If someone is a good roleplayer they probably will be able to pull off a decent cross gender character. Maybe not always, but most gamers I've know who were good roleplayers could do a decent job of it.

The biggest obstacles are usually in roleplaying romantic situations. It hard for one guy to act affectionate and say "I love you" to another guy while being surrounded by a group of friends-especially male friends. Even if it is only pretend for a game.

I am mixed on this issue, but I don't have access to a high quality of player. I don't think some of these guys could even pass a Turing test, and they have poor understanding between the connections between background, personal philosophy, and life choices. They seldom make choices beyond a two-dimensional understanding of their characters. If I had better players, I would be more open to letting them play characters outside of their natural gender. I would be more open to allowing women characters to play male characters because of the infantile and pornographic minds of the typical male player that is available.

If I am convinced that a player has the creative chops, then I would be open to allowing them to take harder character backgrounds, and I don't expect anyone to roleplay any character perfectly, but I would like at least an honest and thoughtful attempt at the roleplaying.

For some reason I prefer to play female characters (I'm a bloke for the reference). I don't know why but I find that more comfortable than playing a male character (I have no issues with my sexuality before anyone asks). In fact on a couple java based chat RPG games that I have played, fellow players were shocked to find out that I was not the same gender as my character and genuinely thought I was female because I played my character as such.

I've found it's not an issue until the narrator wants to add something of a romance scenario, or when there is an opposite-gender NPC with some kind of charm ability.

IMO, if you're not willing to deal with "that aspect" of your character (even if you're running a "G" rated campaign), then that's okay.

At the same time however, you're also closing off a vital aspect of a PC's personality. . .possibly their future plans as well.

This is something almost none of my players consider, until it's up in their faces. :o

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Originally Posted by Nolmir

Really? Not to sound sexist or ignorant, but I've played rpgs for probably about five or six years, and I've never actually met a woman that liked rpgs. I've played in games with one or two on pbp games, but that's it. Like C5, my experiance has been that most women don't seem to "get" what is fun about rpg's. Then again, most guys don't either. ;) But more guys seem to enjoy it than women.

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In my RPG experience, all the groups I have participated in since 1990 have always had at least 1 female player (some as high as 1/2 the group), with only a few "all-male" exceptions.

And those exceptions were always very high-testosterone. :confused:

Yet in groups with female players, it's less competitive and the individual player's judgement is a bit more focused. Something always seems to "take the edge off." :confused:

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Originally Posted by Cdre Bob Wesley

In my RPG experience, all the groups I have participated in since 1990 have always had at least 1 female player (some as high as 1/2 the group), with only a few "all-male" exceptions.

And those exceptions were always very high-testosterone. :confused:

Yet in groups with female players, it's less competitive and the individual player's judgement is a bit more focused. Something always seems to "take the edge off." :confused:

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It's called "trying to impress the chicks." :p

Previous mixed-gender games have always gotten... quite silly in my experience. All-women or all-men games tend to stay "on the rails" more often than not for whatever reason.

I think it depends on the mix of people. I've gamed in mixed gender groups where things didn't get silly. I think the key is to get players who want to play, and not some players who just happen to bring along their significant others. In my experience, when it gets silly is why you have people there who don't give a hoot, and really want to play in the first place.


One of the funniest things I ever saw was a game where a guy brought along his girlfriend to a gaming convetion. She didn't want to play, and so didn't take anything seriously. The funny bit was that she still played much better than her boyfriend, and most of the other people at the table. After winning "best player" at 4 different games, she started to wonder if maybe she did like gaming after all, and that what she found silly was her boyfriend. Apparently he wasn't interested in her mind, and she was impressed by how many guys were (a hot babe that plays RPGs, and plays well was like seeing the holy grail and philosphers stone floating in the foutain of youth. She was very popular). I think she left the con with a different boyfriend, and anew enthusiasm for gaming. :D

Sounds like me back in 2000 or so. I dated a gamer for quite awhile and I learned his "trade." He took an interest in my hobbies so fair is fair you know. I took a job across the state and he didn't want to move... so we broke up.

I found I missed it so I started gaming on my own. Got a good deal on a set of Palladium-system books and that's what I played up into recently. On the one hand it was great because it is highly modular. On the other hand... it's Palladium. ;)

Now I have an ENTIRE ICON-trek set I am quite happy. Before we didn't have the entire set. I love Star Trek... and I loved gaming in the universe. I've been reading the books in the evening and taking notes. Got a "universe framework" outlined... going to stat up a couple of ships and hopefully start gaming this week!

About 15 years ago, I ran a Call of Cthulhu campaign -- Horror on the Orient Express -- with 4 players. Two of them were my brother's partner and her best friend. Both really got into their roles (which was kind of a shame, because Cthulhu does have a high body-count).

I was paid a high complement a couple of days after one session: my brother's partner had had 2 sleepless nights -- with the lights on -- thanks to me not actually killing anyone. I just creeped everyone out.

Two sessions after that, of course, the dying began...

currently roleplaying a female in our latest game although I much prefer to play a male. We decided that everyone play a different gender from our own for a change.

I'm a bit of an alpha male (I know, that'll shock some of you) but I don't normally have too much of a problem with opposite-sex players in longer campaigns. There has been one VERY notable exception, sadly, where a ... male... was playing a supposedly female character who was a vengence she-bitch who was raped and wants to kill all men, etc... The player was so unpleasant that he was kicked out of the college gaming groups.

I've had a few other players that were jerks when playing women, but they 'got over it' pretty fast when other women were around, or I simply said "You do realize I won't be giving your character any experience for this adventure due to this, right?" Problem solved after that. But, again, these were very much minority experiences.

In general though, as a GM, I prefer that players keep to their gender just to make things easier on me, particularly if I'm in a situation when dealing with variable groups that will swap characters and players a lot. But this isn't a problem per se, but more a convienience for keeping things straight.

I think people should play whatever they feel like!