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Hey! He should contact John Michael Strazynski (the guy who wrote/directed Babylon 5). He hates cute too. So much so that when one of his staff presented him with a teddy bear wearing a "Babearlon 5" T-shirt with the initial JMS on the back he wrote it into the script that Captain John Sheridan (initials also JMS) had it tossed out of an airlock for being too cute!
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"Captain Hunter, you are clearly outgunned. I suggest you surrender your vessel": Romulan Commander Terev, Imperial Warbird Senex
"Cmdr.Terev, you clearly have no idea we're carrying quantum torpedoes. I suggest you duck!": Capt.Matt Hunter, USS Tempest
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Klingons, Romulans, Breen, Oh my...I say lets get Boothby and the Academy's lawn mower set the wheels up a little...Yee Haw lets make little blue julian fries (oh the gore factor just went up a little)...
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"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
-Napoleon
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Heh. I think the gore factor of a bunch of drunken Klingons hunting down the smurfs is pretty high anyway.
And the Klingons would have to be drunk. It's the only way they could come into contact with smurfs without gagging.
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Slan agat!
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Hah! You think you know horror?
I have seen the most terrible sight imaginable; my fleet was on patrol near the Delta Quadrant when we encountered a Borg Cube. We desperately fought, but only my vessel escaped the terrible onslaught, which was led by the new Drone.....
Laa-Laa-Cutus of Borg!
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We are cloaked, enemy closing on impulse power, range 5,000 kellicams!
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How many Smurfs would fit in a Bussard Ramscoop do you think and would Smurfs suffer from explosive decompression???
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Lt Marcus Kavart
Late USS Vengence
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Well, the smurfs may suffer from the explosive decompression, but no one who has to deal with them would suffer at all!
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Slan agat!
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What? Nobody's mentioned Pokermon yet?!
"I choose you! -LocutusofBorg!"
(Sorry)
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'Who would have thought... A brave Ferengi!'
Gowron, to Quark, son of Keldar.
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Resistance is futile. Gotta assimilate 'em all.
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Slan agat!
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Pokemon, Furbies, Smurfs, Barney.
All good points.
Now I make one.
"...I named each one after a rennaisance artist. Michaelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo, Rafael." - Splinter
"Yes, we can bleed." - Michaelango
Now imagine them as Borg.
But then the borg would probably be more interested in the Foot Clan, especially Shredder.
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I see stupid people. They're everywhere. They walk around like everyone else. They don't even know that they're dumb.
-Oath of Dell Tech Support
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This whole discussion of Borg assimilating saturday morning TV Characters reminds me of a cartoon in a issue of Starlog which showed Picard and Riker hiding from a assimilated Superman with the tag line.
"My God, they really can assimilate anyone!!!"
Besides, I managed to find something worse than the Smurfs on morning TV. Yes, even worse than Bear in the Big Blue House (though that's pretty awful), yes, I of course mean The Chipmunks.
OH MY GOD!!!
IT'S SO BAD IT'S SICKENING!!!
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CHAKOTAY: "How far into the atmosphere do we need to get before we can go to warp"
PARIS: "Well, Commander, I don't know, maybe we can land this ship but we stand a pretty good chance of f***ing over this planets atmosphere if we go to warp anywhere near this planet. you useless tw*t"
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Here's another scary thought!! How about if the Borg assimilated the scariest 4 men on the planet earth!!! The wiggles!!!
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Lt Marcus Kavart
Late USS Vengence
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The who??
Besides more Saturday morning Borg fodder:
Borged Thundercats (still the king of eighties Sauturday morning kids TV): You're expecting slow, ponderous Borg. They send in Cheetara of Borg.
Borged Godzilla (sorry already done in the crappy 90's version of the cartoon).
Borged Monkey (okay, not Saturday morning TV But still the idea of the Borg using a fleet of Pink clouds that are summoned by blowing and a swift wrist motion just makes me think that the Hay Fever medicines really kicking in).
Yes, I know the term is Assimilated, not Borged.
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CHAKOTAY: "How far into the atmosphere do we need to get before we can go to warp"
PARIS: "Well, Commander, I don't know, maybe we can land this ship but we stand a pretty good chance of f***ing over this planets atmosphere if we go to warp anywhere near this planet. you useless tw*t"
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More Saturday morning mania!!! How about assimilating the 5 lions of Voltron?? It's 5 against one captain!!! Yes but they are smaller than us!! Don't you mean were smaller captain??
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Lt Marcus Kavart
Late USS Vengence
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Here's a scary thought, my friends roommate has just stated "How about an assimulated Sailor Moon", Sailor Scouts, and that masked guy.
