The Contents of a "Certain Secret Government Warehouse (tm)"

The following items were all discovered packed into crates at a "Certain Secret Government Warehouse (tm)"! This is not an exhaustive list. As the readers of this forum find more items for the warehouse, feel free to add to the list...

1. The Lost Ark of the Covenant (of course)
2. The True Cross
3. The Fake Cross
4. The Shroud of Turin
5. The Pillowcase of Turin
6. The Washcloth of Turin
7. The Ten Commandments
8. The FIFTEEN Commandments
9. A dead skin diver, impaled on a tree and burnt to a crisp
10. A Suitcase with a luggage tag that reads "property of D.B. Cooper"
11. The Golden Fleece
12. The Golden Afgan
13. There is no number 13
14. A freezer containing Walt Disney
15. A cow with it's internal organs surgically removed by no procedure known to man
16. One sucked goat
17. A map to the location of Jimmy Hoffa's body
18. Jimmy Hoffa's Body
19. The Pompatus of Love
20. The Book of Love (with the author credited on the front)
21. The third word that ends in "gry"
22. John Dillinger's naughty bits
23. FNORD
24. The October Surprise
25. Big black slab collected by anthroplogists in Olduvai Gorge
26. A Golden Lasso. Anyone tied in it is forced to tell the truth.
27. The plans for Colossus, signed by Dr. Forbin
28. Pages that were missing from the logbook of the Marie Celeste
29. A photograph showing Elvis, Bigfoot, Nessie, and an alien "grey" posing in front of Devil's Tower, Wyoming
30. The "magic bullet".

(DISCLAIMER: This is a thread for people to add items that can trigger a modern RPG adventure. None of this is meant to be real. This is all in good fun. Have at it!)

31) Crystal Skulls with no tool marks.
32) 1 Pillus (Roman Spear).
33) Several Common Puter Cup, dated to 30 AD.

JFK's brain.
W's brain.
A bug-free version of Windoze.
Gary Gygax's ego (takes up three storeys).
Common sense.
Maps to El Dorado and Cibola.
The 300 MPG carburetor.
The car that runs on H₂O.
A list of 11 herbs and spices.

The Roswell crash video
The map of the Atlantis island (or continent)
Decipher's marketing plans concerning the CODA RPG line
Two pills, one red and one blue
One human skull, 12 billion years old
The US flag with 200 stars
A paper reading "The answer is 42" (with a couple of mice nearby)
A moskito frozen in amber
A can of spinach
Some aether in a bottle

The Duck of Doom
Spear and Magic Helmet
The Holy Grail
Map to the Fountain Of Youth

These folks have done something similar...

Warehouse 23's basement

some examples:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A strange yellow mushy substance, smelling faintly of strawberries. Apparently able to stretch to infinite lengths, it is nonetheless almost indestructible. A sticker attached to it reads "Alpha Centauri Luggage Check-in".

A globe of the continents as they were 65 million years ago. There are clear borders marked on in, and country/city names in some unknown alphabet

A set of gold plates from ancient Tenochtitlan that describe, in language understandable even to the average viewer of the 700 Club, how to set the time on your VCR

Ten cans of unopened instant drink mix. The bunny on the box has fangs. It says in bold letters, "Artificial Plasma Flavored."

A large foam rubber letter 'Q'. If squeezed once, a high squeaky voice exclaims "Oooh, don't do that!" If squeezed again, a voice that shakes the Warehouse proclaims, "I SAID DON'T DO THAT!" If squeezed a third time, a blast of energy scorches the squeezer for 4d+6 damage, and a smug voice proclaims, "I warned you!"

--several vials marked "Velociraptor, Stegosaurus, Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus Rex" in a shaving cream can.

- A book guiding you to the location of the Holy Grail. Autographed by Adolf Hitler.

- The original CIA plans for JFK's assassination.

- Reports on what really happened at Roswell, with the Hindemberg among other things.

- An Illuminati lifetime membership card (and subscription to regular puplication "World Control Monthly")

- Alien Corpses in Crogenic Freeze, no sign of autopsy.

- Some Hanging Chads marked up as from Florida 2000 electorial district.

- A victorian Time Machine, built around a clockwork mechanism.

- Babbages computer, in full working order.

- A Perpetual motion machine.

- Schrodigers Cat (Box unopened)

- Props from an ultra-realistic moonscape set, including lander (unused).

- George W Bush's brain (unused).

- Iraq's weapons of Mass Desrtruction (Boxed and marked up with postage for Bagdad from Washinton, but 'returned to sender').

- a replica of Anduril as seen in the LOTR movies, but testing shows it is around 10000 years of age

- an old oil lamp with traces of being polished

- map with the exact fleet position of Hitler's UFO armada under Antarctica with a photo of him at the healm and showing him in his 100s

- A photograph of Tower Eiffel getting built with a small young man, holding a skateboard and wearing Nike shoes and a tall old man with long white hair

- a piece of note in unknown letters and language which nonetheless anybody can read and understand, reading 'I am'.

- a silver DVD box labelled Episode VII, Episode VIII, Episode IX

- a steal coffin of eastern european origin and locked. A hammer and a wooden stake on top of it

- a cup of tea, earl gray, hot

- a broken robotic forearm along with a damaged, cubic computer chip

- a complete, although somewhat burned armor similiar to that of Darth Vader. Again testing shows it is 200000 years old and that it has traces of elemets we do not have in our solar system

- a book, sealed sevenfold

- a box with cobbles and labeled 'good intentions'

- a mysterious cd-case labeled 'the only one working windows version'

- a doorman named Adam Pierson

- old sketches of a sinister plan to boycot Columbus' plan to try an alternate route to India by placing an artificially created continent in his way, blocking all the way from North to South

- a vial with DNA of "an honest used car seller"

- a large chest with golden coins in it, featuring skulls. One of the coins is stained with blood

- the Necronomicon

- The Book of the Dead

- The Book of the Living

- a map showing Troy


:D

- The Book of the Dead
Tibetan or Egyptian?

- an itemized list of violations of Trek-RPG.net's "no political posts" rule. Includes a link to this thread.

- a bloodstained carpet tagged "V. Foster."

- a box with styrofoam lining and a man-shaped indentation. A label reads "Gore v 2.0"

- several notebooks, written in an indeciperable code. The covers read "My life" by H.Hughes.

- a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and the word 'cat' written in in crayon.

- a Hungarian-English phrasebook with all wrong translations.

- a Norwegian Blue parrot (deceased).

- a brochure for "Tyme Sefari, Ink."

- the correct length of the Starship USS Defiant

- a hermetically sealed titanium vault, three meters on each side, wrapped in chains, with thirteen separate locks. Tucked into the links of one chain is a handwritten note: "Do NOT taunt 'Happy Fun Ball!!!'"

- a large box of videotapes, marked "Chronoscopic Tests" and labeled "#1-140"

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Owen E Oulton
- The Book of the Dead
Tibetan or Egyptian?

---

Atlantean.

A small, gold puzzle box.

A jar containing what looks to be cherry pie filling

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Owen E Oulton
- The Book of the Dead
Tibetan or Egyptian?

---

all of them, you can never have enough :D

-- dark shades and a set of contacts, both tagged with warning labels that explains "They Live".

-- a large, metal "loop" that seems to be two rings resting inside of each other. The inner ring has strange pictures engraved in it, the outer ring has semi-triangular objects spaced around it.

-- a large block of ice, inside is frozen a strange amalgam of a man, a couple of dogs, and something unidentifiable...all compiled into one disgusting mass of a body.

-- a box marked "Soilent Green -- Contents Edible"

-- A large, old relic of a super computer, about the size of two chest freezers, bearing the initials WOPR.

-- a man sized glass chamber, sealed and taped on both ends, marked "Dark One". The chamber, even though made of glass, cannot be seen through as it appears black inside.

-- plans for a space station named "Babylon Project One".

-- close up pictures of the surface of Mars, showing humanoid type "unknowns" removing the assorted "pyramids" seen on earlier Mars overflights.

-- pictures from astronaut Neil Armstrong, showing the other craft that landed on the moon shortly after he walked on the surface.

-- several locked vertical files, all with the inscription "Property of F. Mulder".

oh yeah...and...

-- a periodic table of elements, showing all 702 elements.

A large fragment of metal, of advanced composites, slightly radioactive, and corroded by exposure to salt-water and time. There is some lettering; NAUTILUS

Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper, sweeping floors.

Christopher Walken's Cat Litter recepies.

George Lucas's ego.

A very, very deep, and quite chilly Wardrobe.

An old British Police Box

A broken down Cylon Humanoid, found in a dumpster circa 1980 and a couple of invisble Viper II Fighters, but nobody remembers where they are, apart from the warehouse manager 'Dylan'.

Some small items retreived from an injured man aboard the Aircraft Carrier USS Enterprise, he claimed they were ray guns, but disappeared from hospital before questioning.

- A gold filigree picture frame, containing a painted portrait of something barely recognizable as a human being, but bloated, whitened, covered in sores and scabs and wounds of all sorts. The frame is labled "D. Grey."

-A small white box labeled "roll for damage." Inside is a d20. (Rolling the die causes the roller to be hit by an invisible force of 300 psi a number of times equal to the roll of the die.)

-A plant of wood, 2000 years old, labeled INRI and stained with a reddish substance. If tested, the reddish substance is found to be tomato sauce.

-A daguerrotype which apparently captures former US President Abraham Lincoln seated at a desk with a grey alien.

-A small, finned capsule of unknown origin, containing what appears to be the dessicated remains of an infant wrapped in blue, red and yellow blankets. The capsule is labelled "Smallville Event."

-A leaded glass display case, containing a stuffed and mounted corpse, green tinged, and covered with tumors. The case is labeled "Banner."

- the remains of a black Trans-Am. There seem to be more displays and circuitry than expected. Some parts are labeled 'Knight Industries'.

- details on a plot to control the planet through the use of something called 'MMORPHGes'.

- bat-a-rangs.

- a book titled 'ways to impose an effective ban on politico-religious discussions on message boards that actually work'. It's ISBN isn't registered.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Owen E Oulton
- The Book of the Dead
Tibetan or Egyptian?

---

African or European ?

-A box marked "Scooby-Soylent: Snacks for Dogs."

A half empty canister of "Bat shark repelant spray".

:D

Praticing Necromancy . . . approriate given its staring role in the newest Indiana Jones movie.

What a great thread. Never knew we had that one. I'll think about something to add at work and edit my post to show some more stuff to be found in the warehouse.

• You. At least five of them, floating in water inside individual oil drums, each with haircuts in six month iterations. The last one has the same hair as you did five months ago.

- The original ships that brought men from Mars and women from Venus.

- A charred, battered pointy hat, with the word "Wizzard" written on it

- The address of the burger restaurant where Elvis Presley is currently working for

- A little vial labeled "Drink me"

- The synopsis for the Star Trek series that would be appreciated by all of the fans

- A fragment of cave wall, displaying, along with the usual bison paintings, letters reading "please don't start the synchrotron"

- A dessicated spider, with strange red and blue patterns on its back

- A ring, with strange markings that appear only when heated

• The most beautiful potato in the world.

• An antique music box that creates a hologram of a small 19th century bellydancer when open and wound. The bellydancer will coo and giggle tinnily at the operator.

• An annotated, papyrus copy of the complete works of Jorge Luis Borges, in Aramaic.

• The lodestone of a flying city, currently undergoing repairs. If you look inside the large hole on the side, you will see it is constructed of paper maché.

• A small child, playing with action figures. The child is speaking the figures' lines aloud, interspersed with sound effects of explosions and lasers. The action figures are wearing suits and are discussing recent economic issues.

--Several sections of what appear to be actual caves with actual cave paintings. Said paintings depict what appear to be cars, 747 jet planes, the Microsoft Logo, and a long mathmatic formula that appears to be incomplete.

--Video tapes of interviews with several different indviduals: An American that spoke only German who and praised Hitler's 'War of Enlightenment; a young Native American woman who knew nothing of the modern world; a charming yet somewhat sinister man who spoke at length about "ruling in Hell", at times he makes comments to the camera that are significant to the veiwer. Specificly.

--(can't believe you guys missed this one) Large metal ring with a inner ring that can be rotated that has a variety of symbols on it.

--Lost page of Nostradamas's last book. The page, when translated says, "Owen, don't forget to pick up your dry cleaning on Tuesday."

--blow up of an image of a DNA Molecule; there appears to be a pattent # and copyright mark on it

--strange device, depicting constellations and planets, that is actually moving and with all depicted bodies in the correct positions. On the 'Earth' model, there is a drawing of a large, octopoid creature and in Arabic is an inscription "When the stars are right..." the rest is un readable.

--A dvd recording of a transmition picked up by the HARRP station in Alaska: the transmition breaks up several times, but appears to be an American news broadcast, describing some horrible event, either man made or natural, that appears to plunge the world into chaos. The only thing that is certain is the date: June 5, 2008!

*Casting thread necromancy spell*

I've recently discovered this site with similar ideas, only much more developed. Apparently they even have online RPGs based on this.

Cute site, may need to do some digging.

You will find all this objects in Warehouse 13

Warehouse 13 only has half of each item, however. The remaining halves are bilocated to the Warehouse 10 facility.

For security purposes, of course.

The Star Trek roleplaying game lines from thirteen alternate universes, by the following publishers: Heritage Models, Terra Games, FASA, Tsukuda Hobby, Gamescience, West End Games, Fantasy Games Unlimited, Task Force Games, Last Unicorn Games, Wizards of the Coast, Decipher, Amarillo Design Bureau, and Steve Jackson Games. In all cases, four publishers produced licensed games while the rest were unofficial. On a DVD accompanying the books are reviews of all the various versions from thirteen different alternate universes. They all agree that the Chaosium version is best.