40 Things That Only Happen In Movies
http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/feat...oviethings.htm
Pretty funny stuff. How about a list of 40 things that only happen on Star Trek?
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40 Things That Only Happen In Movies
http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/feat...oviethings.htm
Pretty funny stuff. How about a list of 40 things that only happen on Star Trek?
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Data's Rule
Artificial life forms will always be new and completely bewildering to the bridge crew, even if one happens to be a member of the bridge crew.
T'Pol's Rule
All completely emotionless Vulcan females will, invariably, want to shag one member of the crew and open up her emotions 'just for him'.
Geordi's Rule
There's nothing that reversing polarity won't fix. Ever.
Spock's Rule
Once a crew member tells a racial secret to anyone, it's fair game to tell that deeply-kept racial secret to everyone.
Riker's Rule
Regardless of how alien the culture, there will be a woman there that will at least TRY to bed you.
Roddenberry Rule
The Prime Directive means more than life itself, unless there's religion involved, in which case a 'scorched Earth' policy is recommended.
Enterprise Rule
No matter where in the Federation you are, you're on the ONLY ship that can handle the threat headed for Earth. (All the other ships have, apparently, wisely gotten the hell out of the way.)
Sulu and Riker Rule
Once your character is promoted to captain, your part of the franchise is OVER. Do not expect to see the Adventures of Chakotay any time soon.
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Small World Rule
The entire culture, society, history, and climate of a class M world can be summed up in a small town of a couple of dozen people within one hour.
Q Rule
Every other race in the galaxy is superior to humans... except Klingons, who aren't.
Currency Rule
There is no such thing as money in the Star Trek universe, unless you're Ferengi or actually want to buy something at a Starbase.
Tasha's Little Girl Rule
No matter what, the smartest and most capable of Trek villians will leave the most capable Star Fleet officers of all time in a room, alone, without a guard actually watching them, with plenty of materials for their escape. (Tasha's little girl made this into an art form.)
Picard says 'We Suck' Rule
Anyone from the 20th or 21st century of Earth is always mindlessly backward and often a walking example of a cultural stereotype.
Seatbelt Rule
Despite the gravity controls for turns that would cause several thousand Gs for the ship's crew, these will fail utterly whenever the ship is hit by something a tiny fraction as power, sending the crew flying.
The Species #90210 Rule
The most powerful race mankind has ever faced will be topped by something new and more powerful every two years.
The Khan Rule
All ships, starbases, shuttlecraft, and guys floating in space will always have nearly the same orientation and be on the same plane in space. This is more significant if Romulan forces want to make a blockade barrier around something.
The Kronos/Romulus Rule
Vast empires of power agressor states consist of one planet and its moon.
Last edited by TFVanguard; 10-17-2005 at 02:37 PM.
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The Wesley Rule
Earth Kids are either incredibly powerful, incredibly annoying, or usually both.
The History Rule
All newly encountered class M planets will have a culture and history that is strongly reminiscent of some period of Earth history.
Crisis of Command Rule
When a Captain is promoted, he instantly becomes an idiot. Note that not even James T Kirk was spared from this. And, In some cases, such as Archer, being promoted to Captain is high enough rank.
The Archer Rule
If there's an important, world-threatening situation about to happen, do not, under any cirmustances, actually tell Starfleet Command.
The Merchantman Rule
Starfaring races that are thousands of lightyears apart will use the exact same starship design, yet the crew of the Federation starship will be able to spot the different race owning it immediately.
The Empathy Rule
A Betazed can sense the emotions of someone literally light-years away, but tough luck reading that person on the other side of the door.
The Oberth Rule
To make a starship last longer, just make it bigger by scaling everything up identically, even the windows.
The 'Past the Warranty Rule'
The exact moment that a transport really, really needs to be used, it won't work.
The Fashion Police Rule
Everyone on a given planet will dress close to, or exactly the same, as one another.
Last edited by TFVanguard; 10-17-2005 at 02:50 PM.
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She's got that Glow Rule
All energy beings really want to experience life in a corporeal body at least once, particularly if there's a hot woman or cute guy around.
The Pegasus Rule
The Federation Council, given the earliest opportunity, will always sign and enforce a treaty that royally screws them over at some later date.
The Holodeck Rule
Never play in a holodeck suite. Just don't. Something bad always happens.
The Worf Rule
Never fall in love with a Klingon. A brief fling is okay, but a relationship always ends in disaster.
The Warp Core Rule
In the 24th century, no matter what kind of damage the ship takes, the warp core will always be the part most in jeapordy.
The Graveyard Shift Rule
No matter what, encounters with alien forces will always occur during the primary shift of the bridge crew. Marauding aliens of doom are very understanding that way.
Women are Evil Rule
Any woman that doesn't show immediate interest in someone in the bridge crew is automatically evil. Caveat, if she DOES, she's likely still evil, but she'll likely die if she isn't.
Last edited by TFVanguard; 10-17-2005 at 04:04 PM.
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Lovey-Dovey Rule:
If in dire straits, with no rescue in sight, the best way to spontaneously generate a rescue party is to be about to express your true feelings for someone else.
Warp Core Ejection Rule:
Don't bother, the system never works.
Uninhabited Planet Rule:
It isn't. Something down there will kill you.
Ship's Controls Rule:
Seen one control panel, you seen 'em all.
"It's hard being an evil genius when everybody else is so stupid" -- Quantum Crook
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Wall Contents Rule
No matter that the walls of a starship should be occupied with insulation, wiring, circuitry, EPS pipes and ODN conduits, when the wall explodes due to enemy fire or an accident, it will shower the crew with what appears to be medium-sized rocks.
No Fuses Rule
When enemy fire causes an overload to the power system, rather than having a fuse or circuit-breaker absorb the excess current, a control panel in front of a non-important crew member will explode in a shower of sparks and cloud of smoke...that will also kill said crew member.
Annular Non-confinement
Despite the ACB being designed to hold everything still so it can be beamed, important crew members can shout and wave their hands whilst being transported.
Shrinking Clothing Rule
If crew members are mysteriously rematerialised as children (but somehow retain their memories, despite their brains being rematerialised in the same way), their clothes will automatically shrink to fit them.
This Crewmember is Nuts rule
Despite having encountered roughly a million aliens who possess people, maintain non-corporeal forms, control computers and the like, if a crew member starts acting strangely, everyone assumes he's losing his mind.
Uncomfortable Beds Rule (aka Why Starfleet Officers Are Always Cranky rule)
All Starfleet bedding will consist of a perfectly flat bed, a single 1-inch thick pillow and a thin, slightly shimmery sheet. Nobody will have a doona, or thick fluffy pillows, or Snoopy quilts.
No Stairs Rule
Despite the fact that Starfleet ships often lose power and have their turbolift systems rendered inoperative, Starfleet continues to design ships with narrow, difficult and dangerous Jefferies Tubes as an alternative. Nobody seems to want to build a ship with stairs.
Dying Is Less Inconvenient Than Floating rule
We've seen a ship in Star Trek lose gravity exactly once (Q'onos One). We see ships lose warp containment with frightening regularity. It is deemed unnecessary for a ship's warp core to be put in the same (apparently indestructible) part of the ship as the gravity generators.
Phasers Will Only Vapourise One (1) Person
No matter the setting, a phaser set to "kill" will stop vapourising a person once it reaches the soles of his shoes - it won't continue on into the floor.
The It's Not Retro Enough Rule
Starfleet officers will only be interested in non-contemporary (as in 20th/21st century era) arts. Music will be classical or jazz - not 80s pop or, say, Nirvana. Beverages will consist of synthehol or tea/coffee - not, say, Mountain Dew. TV shows liked by Starfleet officers will always be crappy old 50s B-grade sci-fi - you'll never see anyone watching Babylon 5 or Arrested Development.
When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It is difficult only for others.
It's the same when you are stupid...
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IMO this is the best one yet and, oh so true! WTF?Originally Posted by Aldaron
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The San Francisco anomaly
Almost every time travel will drop the crew near San Francisco on Earth.
The Butterfly effect
The slightest change in the past will always result in the disappearance of the Federation if not fixed (it's worth noting however that leaving a phaser in the hands of the US Army and abducting a whale specialist or a very famous writer to the future is of no consequence whatsoever to the timeline).
The Q'apla block
The universal translator is a wonderful device, able to translate almost any language in perfect english, except when someone starts cursing in Klingon.
The duet rule
If two members of the opposite sex spend enough time together, they will develop a romantic relationship.
The T'Kon syndrome
Every civilization disappeared a very long time ago was incredibly more advanced than the Federation and some of its technology is still functional.
The one shot rule
A starship that is successfully hit usually explodes in the next few seconds, unless the main characters are onboard, in which case there will be plenty of time to reach the lifepod, transporters, or even repair the ship before it is destroyed.
The ship of incompetence
No matter how many people are on the ship, it's near to useless if at least one of the main characters is not on board.
The bad life of Star Trek
It's completely acceptable to break into a fistfight with another crewmember or kiss someone while you're engaged with another person. No one will hold any grudge against you provided you don't do it too often.
"The main difference between Trekkies and Manchester United fans is that Trekkies never trashed a train carriage. So why are the Trekkies the social outcasts?"
Terry Pratchett
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roflmao!!!
Ok, before I throw out a rule or two; Anyone ever see "Last Action Hero"? Those 40 things in a movie (minus musical/horror movie stuff) are all in there! Sure, that annoying kid points it out, but it's all true!
The Dystopia principal:
Alterations of the past, even trying to 'improve' an outcome, will ALWAYS lead to a terrible future for the characters.
STatus-quo rule:
Despite groundbreaking breakthroughs in technology, opening up trade with new species with advanced tech, and recovering ancient devices, none of this new stuff will ever be added to the characters ship, or even remembered when a problem that could be solved by said tech comes up.
Star Trek: the PC generation rule:
No matter how despicable a race may be portrayed (8947, borg, Cardassians), they will later have an episode where they reveal a 'kinder, gentler' side.
"We're all human' rule
No matter how different every alien race is, they all still have things in their culture that are much like human culture, just with the name of the alien species attached to it. (Klingon Opera, Andorian kick boxing, Horta black velvet paintings)
The Greatest Generation Guideline
Earths Second World War is a temporal nexus, and therefore any attempts to alter Earth's timeline will be there, with the Characters as the Allies, and any opponents strickly with the Nazis. (See Dystopia Principal for more)
Status-quo rule 2:
At the end of an episode, everything is back to normal; you're no longer a Q; your expanded conciousness is gone, your reemerged animal DNA is dormant (look ma, no scales!), and your alien device that could have saved millions is lost forever.
_________________
"Yes, it's the Apocalypse alright. I always thought I'd have a hand in it"
Professor Farnsworth
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Lol, this one is one of those funny observations you never noticed, till it's pointed out. I love it: I laughed for quite a bit at this one
Ta Muchly
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The Starfleet Away Team Rule
No matter whether a Starfleet vessel has hundreds of crewman with dozens of specialists, scientists & engineers, senior members of the Bridge staff, including at least the Captain and/or the XO, will always be on every away team, no matter how dangerous that mission may be. Sometimes, all of the senior staff officers will be on the away team, leaving only the junior officers in charge. Junior officers and enlisted personnel are never sent on away teams, no matter how routine, unless accompanied by one of the most senior officers on the ship. Regardless of all the specialized training Starfleet officers receive, only the most senior officers on a ship can be in charge of an away team.
The Security Team rule
Unnamed security personnel will always have the lowest survival rate. They will always be casualties in any combat scene. Security personnel with names will always have a greater chance of survival and the chief of security always has the hightest chance of survival, even though he/she is involved in practically every skirmish the ship has.
The Espionage rule
Always send a senior Starfleet officer (preferably a captain), esp. one who has no known espionage training & who is famous for his exploits, on every dangerous & important espionage mission, especially ones that involve illicit & undercover travel to enemy territories like the Cardassian Union and Romolus.
The Universal Translator
This device always translates every alien language into English. The aliens are of course still speaking their own language, but the UT will also make it appear that their lips are forming English words & sentences. The same occurs when humans are surgically altered to appear as an alien (w/ never any medical problems or side effects) & pretend to be the species they are disguised as. The disguised humans will naturally be speaking English, but the UT will make it appear they are speaking flawlessly in the alien language, with no disconnect b/t the words pronounced & the movement of their lips. Of course, English-speaking humans who observe such conversations only hear it in English, not the alien language being spoken.
The UT will always translate alien languages, except those words & phrases that must be pronounced in the original language for story reasons. It is not possible to predict when the UT will simply refuse to translate a word or phrase.
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Also note the dust that always drops from the ceiling if the ship is pranged.Lol, this one is one of those funny observations you never noticed, till it's pointed out. I love it: I laughed for quite a bit at this one
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Keep this up!
Someone sticky this!
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No that one's real.. have you ever seen anyone hoover or dust on that ship!Also note the dust that always drops from the ceiling if the ship is pranged.
Ta Muchly
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