Mind Control ?!?
The attributes seem to high, and the skills way too low. It's difficult to create a rounded character, without a frame of reference. Unfortunately the PG doesn't give you any clues what an experienced officer of a certain branch should look like.
I suggest using the character write-ups in the NG as a comparison, in case you have it. One of the things we learn there, for example, is that 6 is the typical native language skill level.
“Worried? I’m scared to death. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let them change the way I live my life.” - Joseph Sisko - Paradise Lost