A chemical engineer, an electronics engineer and a Microsoft engineer were all heading to a convention in a rented car. On the way there, the car broke down. The three tried to figure out what happened.
The chemical engineer said "I think it's something in the fuel line, we should check that out."
The electronics engineer said "I think it's something in the wireing. We should check those out."
The Microsoft engineer said "Maybe we should close all the windows, get out of the car, get back in, open all the windows again, and see if the car works then."
Chris.
(And another quickie for you: It seems Microsoft has come up with a new operating system that combines the attributes of Windows CE, Windows Me, and Windows NT. It will, of course, be called Windows CEMeNT -- "Hard as a rock, Dumb as a brick.")
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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
Unfortunately, my favorite joke isn't an anecdote, it's just a sign seen briefly on the wall in a Simpsons episode. The event was sponsored by Reader's Digest (or the non-trademark-infringing equivalent) and the sign said:
Ok, ok, I know this is a bit vulgar, but here goes.
A guy walks into a bar (as usual) carrying a small, 12-inch tall man sitting at a piano. He sits down at the bar, putting the small man and piano on the bar. The bartender asks him "What's that thing?"
"Well, I saved the life of a gypsy, and she granted me one wish," the man replied.
"Why'd you wish for that?" the bartender asked, indicating the small man.
"Well, apparently the gypsy has hearing problems," the man said. "Needless to say, I DIDN'T ask for a foot-long pianist."
------------------ Tony Fanchi
Milhouse "Remember when you killed my fish, and then you told me I never had a fish. Then why'd I have the bowl, Bart? Why'd I have the bowl?"
A Bajoran was walking down the street and passed a friend he hadn't seen in years. He asked his friend where he had been all this time, and this is the story he heard:
I was driving my aircar when it broke down. Of in the distance I saw a monestary. I walked to the monestary and asked to stay for the night. The Vedics showed me all around the temple: the chaple, the gardens, and the meditation rooms. Finally we came back to the main courtyard. There was one simple wooden door I hadn't seen opened. I asked the head Vedic what was behind the door, and he replied:"I can't tell you, your're not a Vedic."
So I lay awake all night wondering what could be behind the door. I left the next day, but I still wondered. A week later I came back and told the Vedic that I had to become a Vedic, it was killing me to find out what was behind the door.
I spend a year purifying myself and meditating on the Prophets. I spent another year memorizing the tenents and texts of our faith. I spent another year learning to perform the rituals and ceremonies. I spent a fourth year working as an assistant to a Vedic in a temple. Finally, they told me I was ready to become a Vedic.
After the ceremony, I asked the head Vedic if I could now find out what was behind the door. He said: "Now you're a Vedic, so you can look." He handed me a key... I poened the door, only to find an iron door behind it. HE handed me an iron key, and I opened it to find a bronze door. The head Vedic handed me a bronze key and I opened that one. I opened copper, silver, gold, tritanium and adamatine doors after that. Finally there was another wooden door. The head Vedic said to me: "Congradulations, this is the last door." He handed me the last key, and I opened the last door.
His friend said:"So? So? What was behind the door?"
The new Vedic replied:"I can't tell you, you're not a Vedic."
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"I'd rather die standing than live on my knees..."
Shania Twain
[This message has been edited by calguard66 (edited 02-07-2001).]