I bring this up as I have read an article regarding the character of
Dr. Greene, a character from ER, after remember the episode where he passes away due to an inoperatable brain tumor. How they depict his last moments, and how they depict his last thoughts . . . it brings a different perspective to that which I have held. Although no longer young, I am definatly not old . . . so each moment is one that can be used to fight for something. And furthermore, with what limited medical background I have I know that with the right amount of effort, that most ailments can be fought against and people can return to a healthy life. But after a certain point, there is nothing that could be done, but make someone comfortable. Now take that in a context where a little more than
9 months ago my mother-in-law passed away.
9 Months. That's the amount of time it takes to bring a new life into the world. And during those last few days, before she went to the hospice, she had made believed that her daughter, my wife, her only child, was pregnant. I guess it made her feel better that she thought that her family would go on. And who was I, at that time, to tell her different. And now 9 months, no baby. Not that there was ever going to be one (anytime soon anyhow).
Through this characters death I was able to do something that I have not been able to do for my mother-in-law. Morn. Like the character my mother in law died due to cancer. And like my mother-in-law, in the end, the character took fate into his own hands, chose how their last days would be, and accepted what was to happen.
Although I fought it at first, I've come to realize that their deaths were far less traumatic then that found in an ICU. Looking back I don't know which I would rather have. However, what I do know is that my wife would give almost anything to have had more time with her.
My wife continues to morn her mothers loss. She says that she has come to terms with what that means, but she also says that she goes through bouts of depression when she thinks about it. In a way it has paralyzed her, as she has yet to move on from that period of her life. However, I cannot blame her. Some say that you never truly get over the fact that your parents died, you just accept it and continue.
In front of my Wife I have not been able to morn, as I have had to be the strong one. And in front of her, I don't think I will be able to until she to has gone through the process of moving onto the next stage of her life.
It's funny how she envys me, yet I envy her. She envys me that I still have my mom. I envy her, that in the time she did have, that they were so much closer. I haven't said it, but I think she knows. I mean, my mom confuses me with my younger brother, and doesn't even remember when my birthday is.