Queeg Gets New Job

[Liquidator Queeg]

I started a new job this week. After ten + years working days at a factory job using industrial power tools, I've landed a job working midnight shifts doing "first-level tech support" for clients of an ISP. I, however, prefer the more accurate titles phone monkey, troubleshooting flow chart reader and value added service salesman.

It's been rough so far, as I've never had a job like this. There's a lot of company "client care" policy and techie stuff to learn and I'm still adjusting to the hours. My body doesn't quite yet understand that daylight means sleepy time. My new employer has medical and dental benefits (which my previous employer didn't, although they paid extremely well) and I'm not commuting 250 km a day to and from work anymore (this new job is a five-minute drive from home; my minivan seems happier), so the significant paycut I took taking this job isn't as big as it seemed at first. Also, my previous employer was generating lower and lower revenues with each passing year, so permnanent layoffs were definitely on the horizon, even with my seniority. And there were no buyouts or long severances available, as the company was just too small. It was time to go.

Anyway, just thought I'd pass along the news that I'm exploring a new career path, and if any of you techie guys got any advice, feel free to pass it along. Or if you have funny, wacky or otherwise bizarre tech support stories, I'd love to read 'em!

Cheers,

LQ

[Sarge]

I know less than squat about tech support, but I used to work night shifts. Give yourself time and you'll get used to it. Then on weekends and vacation days, you'll still want to be up all night and sleep all day. It sucks, but that's the way it is. If possible, try to swap to a different shift from time to time so you don't get totally locked into the night shift sleep cycle.

[Cpt. Lundgren]

Congratulations on the new job. If it is a good place, that commuting time will be worth a lot

I have never had to work with flow charts. But if you have to, I hope you are allowed to deviate from them if it results in a better analysis.

Don't take things personal. Some calls will be from people that have had a bad day, and you will be the person they take it out on. Doesn't matter if the customer/caller is from the general public or the support is for the rest of the company. If you are lucky, you have a boss that understands about sitting at the phone, so you can tell them, if they don't calm down, "Thank you for your call. Please call back when you have calmed down and we will solve your technical problem." and hang up.

Besides the worst places, you most likely will have time to study or work on notes for the next game session

Oh, and this one is worth to read. Gives you a hint of your career choices later

[Doug Burke]

Having worked in Call Centers for 11+ years and done tech support for almost 10 of them, I have learned one major truism.

Burke's 1st Law of Customer Service
People are idiots. They just don't want to be treated like idiots. If you can reconcile these two things, you'll do just fine.

[SIR SIG]

Burke's 1st Law of Customer Service
People are idiots. They just don't want to be treated like idiots. If you can reconcile these two things, you'll do just fine.

LOL

Aint that the truth!

Prob 7 years as a techie and the one thing i learnt for sure is this.

ID10T error is ur friend

[Tobian]

Congrats on the new job! BC used to work nights, doing technical help, you should ask him Good luck with your new job, and hopefully you will get used to nights... urghh...

[Evan van Eyk]

Yes, congratulations and good luck on the new job!

[Doug Burke]

ID10T error is ur friend

PEBKAC, man. PEBKAC.

[tonyg]

"The coffee cup holder on my computer broke off!"

Doug's statement about people is certainly true. However, don't think it only applies to the customers. As a troubleshoot & repair tech, many of my problems weren't caused by idiot customers, but idiot coworkers, especially salesmen.

Typical conversation:

"No Sir, you can't use that headset with a civilain aircraft."

"But the salesman said that I could."

"Well, the technician is saying you can't. Let me guess you can hear alright, but your mic isn't working, right?"

"Yeah! That's it!"

"That's because military microphones are amplified by the aircraft, where as civilian mics have amplfiers built in."

"Then why did the saleman talk me into buying this one!!"

"Because he's an idiot, and he made $50 more in commission."

"So I paid all that money for a headset that I can't use! Now I have to return it and I don't have time. I need a headset today!"

"Yup. But now, I'll tell you what you can do. Take another mic and swap it out for the one on the headset. I'll wait."

"Hey! it works!"

"Great. I'll see about sending you another mic or you can send back the headset later."

"The mic would be nice, what would it cost me?"

"Nothing, it's free."

"Free?"

"It will be by the time I stop yelling at the salesman."



They used to hate me up in the sales office.

[C5]

Actually, after having dealt with a few idiot users (not on a day-to-day basis) I have come to the conclusion that I don't mind them - after all without them we would find it more difficult to find a job

It's the obnoxious ones I really hate. Those who seem to consider that anyone who understands more than them about computers is a no-life nerd who had better answering quite fast to their question ("when I click the thingy, the doohickey doesn't work") without their technical mumbo-jumbo ("what do you mean, 'launch Internet Explorer' ??"). I hope there is a special hell for them (especially since they tend to be CEO or close).

[Cut]

Congrats, Queeg

I have a students job at a local sweet shop. We sell gummibears (yes, that way you actually can make a living in Germany) and I realy get along well with our customers. Some of the things I can't stand after 5 years of selling gummibears is when people come and tell me that they christmas special gummibears (Mulled-Wine Stars) have been heart-shaped last year and keep insisting on that fact, and that they have bought it at our shop. And I tell you, they have always come as stars, that's why they are called Glühwein-Sterne anyway

[Doug Burke]

"The coffee cup holder on my computer broke off!"

True story from about 8 years ago. I was working for a three-letter-named computer manufactuer (but not the one starting with I) when I got the following call:

Me: {opening speech} How may I help you?
Customer: My computer flashed a blue screen with white writing that said "Fatal something-or-another" and now I have a black screen.
Me (Internal monlogue): Cool! She fried Widnows. All right...
Me (externally): IWell, let's turn it off and then back on to see what happens.
Customer: I did that already.
Me: *sigh* Well, let's do it again, just to make me happy.
Customer: Okay. *ka-click!* Oh, wow! I forgot to turn it back on. Thanks!
*click-BUZZZZZZZ*

[tonyg]

I heard the one about the woman who couldn't get her computer started during a power outage, but consider it an urban legend.

There is a certain degree of stupidity that my mind refuses to accept.

[Doug Burke]

I heard the one about the woman who couldn't get her computer started during a power outage, but consider it an urban legend.

There is a certain degree of stupidity that my mind refuses to accept.

Accept it. Every "urban legend" you can imagine has actually happened. I' ve spoken to fellow techs it's actually happned to. Faxing by holding the paper to the monitor, "my cup holder", mouse used a foot pedal, all of it. It's true.

[C5]

I once got a call that went like this :

User: So there was this pop-up that told me that the computer was going to generate a certificate, and that if I clicked "Cancel", the process would stop. I clicked "Cancel", and the pop-up closed and no certificate was generated. That's because I clicked "Cancel", right ?
Me: ... Well I think so, actually, I so do...

And after that, I never doubted urban legends about tech support anymore.