You're surrounded by killer Smurfs...

[Thanatos]

You make a valid counter argument. I am stunned... but only for a moment.
I hate to say it but Klingons are the best fer fighting Borg smurfs for two reasons
1) The smurfs are the blue, humanoid equivalent to a tribble and any klingon would frankly want to eat them, kill them, and sing about (in that order)
2) The Borg aren't well known for adapting to Bat'leths

And please note, i never said Romulans for cloakign. I said plasma torpedoes at point blank to the smurfs. Not smurf ships... I actually want to beam them all into empty space in front of a D'deridex shoot the little bastards. I don't think the individual borg smurfs can adapt to a ship-based plasma torpedo very well.

Course that's just my anti-smurf ideology, the same should be done with clowns and mimes as far as I'm concerned.

Now if you'll excuse me I'll head off to plot the death of more of the little blue freaks

[Dan Gurden]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Thanatos:
2) The Borg aren't well known for adapting to Bat'leths</font>

Now I have personally NEVER seen a Borg and a Bat'leth in the same image... So think that they have a bat'leth repellant...

Probably by the same guy that made my polar bear repellant do-dad... These things work. After all I personally have never been attacked by a polar bear!

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Dan.

"A couple of thoughts from a random mind!"
http://www.theventure.freeserve.co.uk

[This message has been edited by Dan Gurden (edited 06-18-2001).]

[Thanatos]

Okay, you got me on the bat'leth. However, during First Contact (my fav of the star trek movies), they mention using their weapons for bludgeoning, as opposed to shooting. This implies to me that borg, and especially borg smurfs, would not adapt well to purely physical kinetic weapons. We also get to see Worf hack off a limb which then promptly drifted off into space (neat shot, i might add).

Hence, my klingons slash your Borg smurfs

And, for the record, this is the silliest point i've ever debated with anyone in the history of my eighteen years of living. I love these board

Edit - Fergot to put in my Worf example , muh bad

[This message has been edited by Thanatos (edited 06-18-2001).]

[Dan Gurden]

Ah yes, you may slash, but only with your small weapons, such as the D'k'tang or Met'leth, thus you come into range of our nano-probe injenction tubuals...

You see there is a reason we use an anti-bat'leth do-dad, and that is to bring your Klingon troops closer, as they do indeed make superior tatical drones, the Smurfs however provide irresistable targets that your warriors cannot resist...

"Ah, the colective has now assimlated Species 100001, Tribbles, and 100002, Decorative Garden Gnomes. We will prevail, you cannot stop the collective, lower your shields and prepare to surrender your cute puppys. Their technological and biological distinctiveness will make our collective weirder, but we will fit several times as many drones aboard a cube."

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Dan.

"A couple of thoughts from a random mind!"
http://www.theventure.freeserve.co.uk

[Thanatos]

I'm beginning to think there may be a reason Voyager thwomped the Borg so easily. Must be some strange form of bit decay...

But I'm afraid not...
you've assimilated our smurfs, and we fell back. you've assimilated our tribbles, and still we fell back. you assimilated our garden gnomes, and we fell back further still - crying this time mind you. The line must be drawn here! At our cute puppies! You'll never have them!

Okay, I think we've just gone silly now

Anyhoo... if you've finished assimilating our beloved pets and blue things, you might want to consider moving on to other children's icons... *shhh... its my secret plan to bring down the collective... they get the smurfs, barney, and some others and they're intellect will degrade to nil*

No, actually, now we've just gone weird. Thank you

[Dan Gurden]

No, we dont want Barney. Barney is, like the Kazon, beneath our minimum requirements for assimilation.

Neither are the Power Rangers, nor the TeleTubbies, all of these creatures must remain within your society, weakening you from within.

Mind you. On second thought. Do we really want to assimilate a species capable of suchlow base 'entertainment'?

Borg, tactics Huddle!



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Dan.

"A couple of thoughts from a random mind!"
http://www.theventure.freeserve.co.uk

[Keny Suda]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Dan Gurden:

Borg, tactics Huddle!
</font>

Oh my, just got a vision of several Cubes sticking their "heads" together.

[Grandmaster]

Bring in Martok. I say let the klingons do what they did to the tribbles: dump a bunch of jolly, drunk, leather clad warriors on the planet with every weapon they can get their hands on (kitchen sink included). Give the op a cool name, like "Operation blue splat" or something. I'd then point them towards the smurf village and tell them that "everything in that general direction dies a horrible, horrible death." They then merrily cut, disintigrate, stomp, maim, eat, toss, and pillage their way through the tiny blue pacifists (like they could have fought back. what were they gonna use? Spit? foul language?). They then use the 24th century equivalent of agent orange to defoliate the planet, and finish off any that escaped to the trees. They would then they salt the earth so that nothing will grow (just in case). To top it off, an effort would be made to drop a large asteroid or meteor on the planet, inducing nuclear winter (I really hate those blue pipsqueaks...). I'm big into overkill, so lets just say that after the asteroid, the fleet drops by and uses the planet for orbital bombardment practice. Great songs of victory would be sung, targs roasted round the bonfire, toasts with blood-wine and all that would follow. Just what I would do


[This message has been edited by Grandmaster (edited 06-18-2001).]

[StyroFoam Man]

This message has been removed on request by the
poster

[Dan Gurden]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Grandmaster:
dump a bunch of jolly, drunk, leather clad warriors on the planet with every weapon they can get their hands on (kitchen sink included).

[This message has been edited by Grandmaster (edited 06-18-2001).]</font>

Strain
Must... Not... Make... Jokes...

Snap

Sounds like the Blue Parrot from the Police Academy series...

Sorry.


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Dan.

"A couple of thoughts from a random mind!"
http://www.theventure.freeserve.co.uk

[This message has been edited by Dan Gurden (edited 06-19-2001).]

[Thanatos]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by StyroFoam Man:
What?! You aren't going to induce a super-nova or huge solar flare?! Ha! You're going soft!
</font>

Say... fergot about that.
To borrow another quote, "Assimilate this."
nobody but the klingons would be willing to take on the Borg Smurfs with solar flares, 'cept maybe Picard who, is frankly, rather pissed at the Borg
But I believe the original post was trapped on a planet so i left myself to that context where possible ('cept fer the Rommies dropping plasma torps on them ).

And if I can't beat them with Klingons i'll take the Breen, assuming they have some form of land based version of the energy disruptor (if not... i'll make one!).


Edit - Let me be the first to say, this is the last topic I ever expected to go to two pages. To repeat an earlier comment I recall making, "I love these boards."


[This message has been edited by Thanatos (edited 06-19-2001).]

[lone wolf]

I caught approximately thirty seconds of the Smurfs (inadvertantly) this morning.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Make it stop.

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"I hate all monkeys, Me.
From Chimpan-a to Chimpan-zee"

Troy McClure, The Simpsons.

[Marcus Kavart]

I can just see pictures of Smurfette becoming the new Borg queen and assimilating Picard again not by beaming him on board and seducing him!! I agree that "I love this boards!!"

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Lt Marcus Kavart
Late USS Vengence

[Capt.Hunter]

Three words...

"Smurfette of Nine"

Really eeeeevviilll thought...

"Borg Furbies"

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"Captain Hunter, you are clearly outgunned. I suggest you surrender your vessel": Romulan Commander Terev, Imperial Warbird Senex

"Cmdr.Terev, you clearly have no idea we're carrying quantum torpedoes. I suggest you duck!": Capt.Matt Hunter, USS Tempest

[Aedh Rua]

Martok, definitely Martok. He's like "Conan in Space". Which reminds me of a story......

There was this guy I knew in high school. He will go nameless because, for all I know, he is on this board under another name, not that I'm about to insult him or anything.

Anyway, this boy, for such we all were, at the time, designed a T-shirt: a large, rather Frazetta-esque looking barbarian, with a fur jockstrap, an elaborately decorated helmet, and a small amount of highly impractical armor, wading through a large pile of very dead, bleeding smurfs. On the end of his over-decorated +2 bastard sword is the head of ET the alien, who was all two popular at the time. The caption, "I hate cute!!"

So, he designed it, but no stores in the town where we lived would sell the damn thing. I always thought that was a shame.

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Slan agat!