Bert and bin Laden...

[Dan Stack]

This is very odd. Apparently someone on the web made a satirical picture of Bert (from the US show "Sesame Street) and added it to a picture of Osama bin Laden.

Recently, some anti-American protestors Bangladesh were seen holding placards bearing the picture of their hero bin Laden... and Bert.

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/2001...aden_dc_4.html

[StyroFoam Man]

This message has been removed on request by the
poster

[Lt.Khrys Antos]

I always knew Bert was evil. How could the protestors in Bangladesh not notice this little yellow guy on their posters?

[First of Two]

A demonstrated lack of intellectual capacity?

[Aedh Rua]

There could be a number of explanations. Considering his evil nature, it is probably most likely that Bert has betrayed his country, not to mention his lover, Ernie. In that case, it will be necessary for Sesame Street to hold a televised trial, and execution for treason. This has the additional advantage of being a lesson in patriotism for the kiddies.

But, it is possible that Bert is actually being held hostage, in which case the Allied campaign against bin Ladin must add the rescue of Bert to its mission profile. Bert might be under the influence of a powerful new chemical or biological device developed by bin Ladin to reduce the resistance of captives, and so make it possible to convert them. Would-be rescuers should keep this in mind.

Finally, this could just be the result of an accident with the Orbital Mind Control Lasers. The Illuminati should really be careful with those things..........

[Keny Suda]

LOL

[Publius]

I for one am astonished that someone would assert that Bert, though generally cranky, is a genuine un-American and working with Bin Laden. Bert and Ernie are middle aged homosexuals sharing an apartment (and the occasional bath) in NYC, what is more American than that? They are definitely not knife weilding terrorists with an axe to grind.

At least they are not knife weilding terrorists.

Okay, maybe they aren't terrorists.

Okay, maybe they might or might not be terrorists but I extremely doubt that they would work with Osama Bin Laden. After all, they are native New Yorkers.



----------------------------------------
Hopefully your sense of humor is fully engaged.

[Aedh Rua]

Question: once Ernie and Bert have finished grinding their axe, do they need knives to be terrorists?

Just curious.

[SIR SIG]

Originally posted by First of Two
A demonstrated lack of intellectual capacity?

Or a Capacity for Intellect not Demonstrated

How silly can they get. Certainly they may not know of Berts origins as a kids show puppet but the size, shape and of course colour???

Now if they were burining Bert as a effigy, well I could understand that...

[Klingermann]

If you think about it, Bert is the perfect spy. No one would ever expect a puppet to be capable of gathering sophisticated intelligence on America's lax policies towards air travel safety. I mean look, even now, and in the face of irrefutable photographic evidence, some of you still have your doubts:

Bert and Ernie are middle aged homosexuals sharing an apartment (and the occasional bath) in NYC, what is more American than that? They are definitely not knife weilding terrorists with an axe to grind.

At least they are not knife weilding terrorists.

Okay, maybe they aren't terrorists.

Okay, maybe they might or might not be terrorists but I extremely doubt that they would work with Osama Bin Laden. After all, they are native New Yorkers.

Quite frankly this blindness to the facts makes me sick! I know we all loved them as children, but it's time that we as a Americans and as an international community face the fact that probably all of the Sesame Street gang has joined the Al Queda, with the exception of Cookie Monster, and that the Children's Television Workshop should and must be bombed into oblivion. As President Bush put it:

We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them.

My question is, how far is the President willing to go to abide by this statement? Here's to hoping that it'll be all the way and that the foam will be flying in the next few weeks!

[Eric R.]

RUMSFIELD HEADING TO MR. ROGERS NEIGHBERHOOD

AP - In a move in response to the recent exposing of the extent of the connection between Bert, a now well known Osma Bin Laden Asscoate, and the fact that Seseame Street has given him harbor for over 30 years US Secreatry of Defense Donald Rumsfield flew and met with long time US ally MR Rogers Nieghborhood today. The talks nature have at this time not be discussed but it is believe the US will try to enlist their aid in pressuring Seseame Street into giving up the feared Bert.

However, it is believed from other contacts in the land of Make believe that King Friday and Lady Lane are both against any dealings with the US government. Of course this my have more to do with the worsening economic situation in the Land since major lay offs were annouced this past summer due to Mr. Rogers retirement than with the crrent going ons.

Other unconfirmed reports suggests US agents are also making overtures to long time Outlaw TV Shows such as Barney and The Tele Tubbies in building a coalition. This would be remarkable as both have been long on the US list of Subversive and Terrorist organizations for some time . . .


(Boy this may be all sick to an outsider but it does help blow off some stress especialy after a day like Friday!)

[Dan Stack]

Mr. Rogers retired recently. Perhaps there is a connection.

I wonder if the non-Americans have any idea what we're talking about... (That's ok - when I was in the UK back in '94 I had to endure seing some Barney-like entity called Mr. Blobby visiting their equivalent of "The Today Show"... Everyone seemed to think it was funny except for me, the lone Yank...)

[Kaiddin]

Originally posted by Klingermann
all of the Sesame Street gang has joined the Al Queda, with the exception of Cookie Monster

Now this is just wrong. Grover would never consider terrorism to attain his goals. Elmo however.....

(Yes Grover sits proudly on top of one of my bookcases, right between Opus and Gordon Shumway).

[Jalalabad]

Bert in league with bin Laden?!?

No way.. Bert was my fav.. Ernie is the one who is the spy.. yep him and Big Bird!

[Enrious]

Sesame Street Newsflash
----------------------------
NEW YORK (AP) -- Big Bird, the famed friendly muppet of Sesame Street, has apparently gone on a rampage. Several muppets are known to be dead; including Prarie Dawn, Oscar the Grouch, and Bert -- long time friend, roommate, and occasional lover of Ernie. The bird is now reportedly holding Maria hostage in a five floor tenement near Hooper's Store. New York City Police SWAT teams have surrounded the building.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Big Bird, Sesame Street muppet, is reported dead at this hour after an hour-and-a-half hostage standoff with the New York City Police. Kermit-the-Frog, Sesame Street Muppet on the scene, reports that as police stormed the five story tenament building where the bird was
holding Maria hostage, Big Bird flew out an upper story window at them in a kamikaze-like attack. Police SWAT units brought down the bird in a hail of automatic weapons fire. Dead are: Prairie Dawn, Oscar the Grouch, Bert, and Big Bird. There is no information available concerning Maria.

NEW YORK (AP) -- The Professor and his assistant, Beaker, muppet chemists, have reportedly found angel dust in Big Bird's feed. Big Bird was killed by police early this morning after the bird went on a killing spree on Sesame Street. Maria, taken hostage during the ordeal, has survived
unharmed. Three muppets were killed by the bird: Prarie Dawn (a friendly, pig-tailed muppet girl-child), Oscar the Grouch (a green garbage-can dwelling grumpy muppet) and Bert (the famous gay paper clip collector and pigeon friend). Authorities in the area report that the bad seed was
purchased at the local Hooper's.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Police are asking all motorists and humans to stay away from Sesame Street today as tensions are running high among the muppets. Many reportedly are outraged at the tainted food supply and at
how the police handled the hostage situation. According to bystanders on
the scene at the time, Mr. Snuffalufagus pleaded with police to be allowed to talk Big Bird down. Instead, police stormed the building with deadly results. Ernie is said to be despondent at the loss of his good buddy Bert.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Violence erupted again on Sesame Street at five o'clock this afternoon. As thousands of humans driving home took a sightseeing tour of the scene of Big Bird's deadly rampage, muppets became enraged. Hundreds of muppets, large and small, stalked the streets and surrounded humans in their cars. In at least one case, ten muppets pulled a motorist from his car and beat him with large, styrofome letters.
Police again arrived on the scene in force. At this hour, quiet is restored -- but tensions are very high.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Police and fire units have been called to Sesame Street. Reporters on the scene describe a nightmarish atmosphere. Furry muppets ranging in size from only inches to seven feet in height are looting
Hooper's Store and firebombing the entire neighborhood. Orange and blue firelight is rising over many buildings. Cardboard backdrops, props, and storehouses full of numbers and letters are burning to the ground. Muppets are taunting firemen and police from windows high above the street with counting and alphabet songs.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Morning light has brought an eerie calm to Sesame Street after a night of rioting. Smoke rises from most buildings. On the street, lifeless, crumpled fur lies in mute testiment of the night of wild
outrage. Unknown numbers of muppets have died or been shot to death by Police in full riot gear. Here and there, a muppet--still animated with life--can be seen staring at the wreckage, or sweeping vacantly at the
rubble. The Count was reported running down the street crying and yelling, :"Ten, ten lifeless muppet bodies!" No humans were killed in the rioting, although several people reported rug-burns.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Ernie, friend, and longtime roommate of the murdered muppet Bert, broke his two day silence today with a eulogy address at a mass muppet funeral. The following is the complete transcript of his address:

"I come here today to honor a man I loved. A man who was loved by millions thoughout the world. Bert was a giant among muppets. His
paper-clip collection was viewed with awe by many of the world's leaders. Just one year ago, as President Clinton campaigned on Sesame Street for the muppet vote, it was Bert who everyone turned to for advice. It was Bert who told us all, 'anyone who can hang as many paperclips together as Bill
Clinton, can certainly run the country.'"
"I also come here today to honor Big Bird. Bird was such a loving creature. His large size and bright color alarmed many who first met him, but it was his innocent and curious nature which taught us all to love him. Bird wouldn't have wanted us to remember him, or to memorialize him, with violence. All he ever wanted was for all creatures to 'just get along' with each other. Big Bird has come to a bad end, friends, but is wasn't his fault. It was just some bad seed."