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Thread: Famous/Infamous player quotes

  1. #16
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    A huge SDF1 type ship drops outta warp spiraling in a damged spin; right on top of the PC's ship.

    They say WTF, and the PC cpt orders 'open fire'.

    Calmly my NPC security chief steps in and says, 'maybe we shood hail them first?'.

    Much funnier when it happened though

    Oh and the Andorian security officer who assaulted a civilian on Risa for some reason and it turned out to be Adm Paris.

    The security chap runs off in light of a man hunt and pins it on another Andorian.

    While the PC CMO saw the whole thing and started bribing and blackmailing everyone. Includding the Ferengi he swindle out of his Latinum
    ST: Star Charts Guru
    aka: The MapMaker


    <A HREF="http://users.tpg.com.au/dmsigley/sirsig"><IMG SRC=http://users.tpg.com.au/dmsigley/sirsig/images/Southern_Cross.jpg width="100" height="120"></A>

  2. #17
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    Okay, here's a couple.

    In their first game, we had picked a largely technobabble-impaired and not very trek-experienced player to play Captain, since she'd be learning from the other crewmembers and basically just giving assignments.

    Her first order to a crew member, after leaving Spacedock?
    "Ah... go do... whatever it is you do... and do it well!"

    Same mission, their courier was shot down by Klingons and crashed on a remote planet. This being the FASA days, I had them all roll strength (to keep from being thrown across the bridge) and luck (to keep from being badly hurt).

    Our security officer failed his strength roll, but dramatically succeeded in his luck. He sailed over the Captain, and landed on his posterior. His comment? "Yeah, I know, I'm a hardass."

    Our 1st officer failed both rolls. Her seat tore loose, and smashed her into the viewscreen, leaving her badly mangled and barely alive. The CMO described this as "Oh, man, that's the worst case of 'smuush' I've ever seen."

    Our Captain (who made both rolls astoundingly well)'s reaction?
    "GodDAMNit! I broke a nail!"

    and another...

    While undercover negotiating with Orion Pirates, (without the benefit of a Universal Translator) our 1st officer gets antsy, as the negotiations seem to be getting nowhere. She tugs on the Chief Engineer (a young expatriate Klingon - who has a crush on the 1st officer, but is easily embarassed by her occasional flirtation)'s shirt, and says "Come on, Honey, the kettle's boiling."
    The Orions want to know what she said, and our Communications officer botches his translation roll.

    ME: "The Orions hear: 'Come on, Honey, my loins are boiling.'"

    1st Officer: "Oh, Fuck."

    ME: "THAT, they understood."

    Eng: *now beet red* "Shut UP!"
    "It's hard being an evil genius when everybody else is so stupid" -- Quantum Crook

  3. #18
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    Ha hahahah! I love these!

    Here's one from the other night:

    The crew are on a small ship, Berlin-class, crew of 12, commanded by a lieutenant. They were doing a routine patrol, and bumped into a Jem'Hadar ship. Through some lousy rolls and plot devices, they were high-tailing it in no time, damaged.

    "Captain, they're gaining on us." said the pilot.
    "Captain, there's a nebula nearby, if we hopped inside, we could likely lose them in the interference." said the non-com science guy.
    "Captain, our shields are down to whatever-percent-it-was." said the Tactical officer.
    The poor lieutenant, who'd never really seen much more than pirate scuffles up to this point, said, "Make for the nebula, best speed, and the next thing anyone says better be good news, or I'll be really grumpy."

    More rolls, the ship got hammered again, and they were iffy on making it into the neblua.

    The engineer, with a really big grin, "Captain, we're going to lose warp containment if this keeps up."

    Everyone stared at him, and the Captain/Lieutenant said, "I asked for good news."

    The engineer, without missing a beat, "They're so close, they'd blow up, too."

    The Doc
    So you think, 'Might as well,
    Dance a Tango to Hell,
    at least I'll have Tangoed at all.'
    -- "Rent," Jonathan Larson

  4. #19
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    A new one, from last night's episode. It reminded me of Han Solo in the detention center: 'Everything's under control, uh, situation normal'.

    The crew has retaken Operations from the Dominion, and beamed the Jem'Hadar occupying Ops into space...

    Dakin frowns. "We've got shields, Lieutenant, but a well-thrown rock could punch through them." He tabs an interstation comm channel. "Ops to all levels, damage and casualty reports."

    Laco looks up from the security console, "Wait, don't let them know we have Ops back, they'll just gather together and storm us!"

    Dakin continues the call in a more guttural voice, "Gul Kadet wants to know if this Federation facility is salvageable."

  5. #20
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    Check out my quote at bottom of message. This is one of many classics from Kev, someone who is perhaps the mystery of the missing link!!! Never the most intelligent of gamers, he certainly kept us amused!!

    Then there was the time during a bout of Star Wars RPG when, on a particualrly bad losing streak of dice, one player tries to catch the GM out by going against the plot...thus forcing a freeform adventure. After half an hour of this, the player (Noley) throws his dice down shouting "You're just making this up as you're going along!!!"
    "Of course...I'm the bloody GM!!" Was the response.
    Dehann - "Why don't we just throw that round thing at 'em?"

    Samson - "Because, Mr Dehann, that is the saucer section and we are on it!!"


  6. #21
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    Oooo...just remembered another one from a non-Trek game. This time from Heroes Unlimited.

    The team had a leader named CLASH which stood for Combined Land And Sea Hero (C.L.A.S.H. clever eh??)

    Anyway, another PC name Faust found out this reason for the name, and started taking the piss out of CLASH.

    The instant response had us in stitches and gathered extra XP for CLASH.

    What does Faust mean then? Fucking Awful Useless Sack of Turd?
    It was the coolness with which this reply came out that made it all the more funny!!

    Dehann - "Why don't we just throw that round thing at 'em?"

    Samson - "Because, Mr Dehann, that is the saucer section and we are on it!!"


  7. #22
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    I'll never forget the Vulcan Ensign who was contacted by a Romulan spy.

    Romulan Spy: "Join me brother."

    Vulcan Ensign: "Oh, OK then."

    Romulan Spy (who can't believe his good luck): "I want you to kill the Klingon Excange Officer"

    Vulcan Ensign: "Sure, no problem."

    The guy didn't last long in our group

    "You can't take a picture of this; it's already gone." -Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under.

  8. #23
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    From a 'Paranoia' game I ran: "So THAT'S what fusion looks like!!!"

    The team's last words...

    "This battlestation is now the ultimate power in...who's hailing us? I don't care who these 'Borg' are, THEY CAN WAIT!!!"
    Admiral Motti, now Eighth Of Eight

  9. #24
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    I'll offer up this tidbit from one of my Narrating moments...

    It had been a long session following a long week. I was frazzled, but happy that the session had gone as planned. As it was late at night, my brain was clearly not firing on all synapses.

    The group had been in a close space battle, and survived with a few bumps, scrapes, and blown-out panels. They were heading back to starbase, working on the ship. After a quick break, I segued in with this classic line:

    "Okay, the ship's on it's way back to Starbase 235, and the minor repairs are being damaged..."

    It went off far funnier than it deserved.

  10. #25
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    Talking

    To quote the First Officer from my original Hood Campaign to the ship's CMO (whose player was weak in the techno-babble):
    "Remember, Doctor: if it isn't Class M, the helmet stays on."
    Insert something clever

  11. #26
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    From the aftermath of the recent Jem'Hadar attack on Station 419....

    Vor'mak storms in to the Neutral Zone and quickly finds a place to sit at the bar. As he sits down, the Klingon looks around. "Sileel? Sileel!" He scowls openly while glancing around. "Where is that woman!"

    Arton shudders at that. He looks up to the man screaming, "Excuse me.. But... She.." He sighs, "She didn't make it." He pauses, "And would you mind not screaming, I'm trying to read, I'd apreciate."

    Zeel glances over at the Klingon a moment, quirking an eyebrow. "She's dead," the Orion woman states flatly as she slides into a seat.

    Vor'mak snorts as Milara, the new waitress, approaches. "Lucky wench," he mutters.

  12. #27
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    Cool

    Old FASA game.

    The PCs are gathered in the briefing room, and the captain (A Romulan, believe it or not) asks the security chief for a report.

    "Sir, there's a Romulan on board."


    In another FASA game, the ship was in combat late in the playing session. By this time, the captain was quite inebriated. (A case of beer will do that to you.) At a critical moment in the battle, he gave the following order:
    "Go straight at them at an angle."

  13. #28
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    re: stories

    There has been some great stories here, so I'm going to take this thread and expand on it in the general chat. Obviously some of you have some memorable D&D moment's and the new thread will cover this and other non-trek games.

    Feel free to continue with your trek stories though, I love them.


  14. #29
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    Well, here's a pretty classic one from my epic college Trek game:

    The crew of the Enterprise-class USS Valhalla had made first contact with a species called the Shan'nar, who had living starships rather like unto the TNG episode "Tin Man." Only problem was, their ship had gone senile and was a tad ornery..


    Captain Hammartrack, (the only starship captain without extensive knowledge of Shakespeare, despite the charming accent, comes up with a brilliant idea to calm the raging ship, and implements the common misquote,)

    "In my world, there is a saying, that music hath charms to soothe the savage beast...."


    <The chief engineer, who *does* know Shakespeare, corrects the quote, which actually refers to 'savage breast', over his live feed from Engineering: >

    "That's *breast*, you philistine, *breast!*

    Captain Hammartrack, without missing a beat, leans on the intercom switch, and says,

    "Yes, Mister Stalker, breasts *do have their charms,* but that's hardly appropriate for a first contact situation."
    "IDIC: If Doubtful, Increase Confusion." --Cpt Timothy B. Hammartrack.

  15. #30
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    Amherst, Mass
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    Well, here's a pretty classic one from my epic college Trek game:

    The crew of the Enterprise-class USS Valhalla had made first contact with a species called the Shan'nar, who had living starships rather like unto the TNG episode "Tin Man." Only problem was, their ship had gone senile and was a tad ornery..


    Captain Hammartrack, (the only starship captain without extensive knowledge of Shakespeare, despite the charming accent, comes up with a brilliant idea to calm the raging ship, and implements the common misquote,)

    "In my world, there is a saying, that music hath charms to soothe the savage beast...."


    The chief engineer, who *does* know Shakespeare, corrects the quote, which actually refers to 'savage breast', over his live feed from Engineering:

    "That's *breast*, you philistine, *breast!*

    Captain Hammartrack, without missing a beat, leans on the intercom switch, and says,

    "Yes, Mister Stalker, breasts *do have their charms,* but that's hardly appropriate for a first contact situation."
    "IDIC: If Doubtful, Increase Confusion." --Cpt Timothy B. Hammartrack.

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