Book Store Ettiquette....

[Michael Barratt]

Okay, as you may or may not know (and/or care, ), I work in a bookstore. As the "third in command" of the store (and boy, do I get a lot of "Data" jokes from my manager, not to mention "You have the Conn" every time she leaves the store and the assistant manager isn't around), I get to deal with difficult customers a lot.

Now, here's the thing. After being in the bookstore for four years this X'mas (and oh my god, FOUR years?), I'm at the point where I'm willing to admit I'm getting biased against Science Fiction readers.

Here's an example. Someone asks me about Robert Sawyer's new book (as a sidenote: I'm a huge fan of that man, and follow his work as closely as I can). They don't, however, say "Do you have any Robert Sawyer?" They say, "How come you have no Robert Sawyer on your Canadian Authors wall? Not good enough?"

I blink, and manage a, "The Made in Canada wall has only hardcovers and large-format paperbacks. Both "Flashforward" and "Calculating God" were on the wall while they were in hardcover, but there aren't as many Sci-Fi/Fantasy authors that go to hardcover as there are in other genres..."

"It's SF," he snipes.

Another blink, "Pardon me?"

"Anyone who takes Science Fiction seriously calls it SF, not Sci-Fi."

For crying out loud - and you want me to listen to your input? Grr.

Anyway - just a plea. Don't be aggressive with your friendly neighbourhood bookseller. Being happy and polite will get you waaaay more than being snarky and insulting and insufferable.

Rant over,
'Nathan (otherwise known as "The Doc")

[Aldaron]

"Anyone who takes Science Fiction seriously calls it SF, not Sci-Fi."

Dontcha just hate having to be nice to customers? Especially when you're just bursting to say something like...

"And anyone who quibbles over that is a 'wan-ker', not 'dick-head'"

I'm happy to say my games-store owner/workers and I are on <i>great</i> terms!

[The Highlander]

I worked in a Waldenbooks store just before Thanksgiving, and when the staff told me "Within 7 days, you will hate the human race," I thought they were kidding.

They weren't -- and it only took me three days. . .

[Ineti]

Oh, man, can I sympathize. I worked retail for many years as I pursued my career as a student, and I agree: The general populace are morons.

I remember the days at Waldenbooks when people would come up to the counter with their arms full of Harlequin or Silhouette romance books. I was screaming inside, "They're all the same! Just the names and locations are different!" But they bought them.

And as for the sci-fi/fantasy crowd...I got my share of oddballs. The store in which I was assistant manager had the gaming stuff, sci-fi material, and fantasy material all in the same general area. We got lots of complaints that the fantasy books and the science-fiction books "didn't belong together" on the same shelves. Sheesh.

And on a grim sidenote, we employees were always disconcerted when we found Playboys or Penthouses tucked behind books in the children's section. Creepy.

Common query from customers, "I didn't see it on the shelves; do you have a copy in the back?" I swear that my employees and I heard, "Do you have a copy in the back?" so many times that we were really tempted to say, "Yeah, we have it in the back. I'll take you back there and show you." Then we could proceed to usher them out the back door and toss them in the dumpster or something. Petty I know, but when you're dealing with the dregs of society, what'cha gonna do?

And finally, people, when the employees start to turn off the lights in the store, that means it's TIME TO LEAVE! No more browsing, make a purchase if you have to, but get out of the store. Mall employees have lives too.

[Capt Daniel Hunter]

Well I didn't work in a bookstore (although I did work in a games store for a while). But before training as a nurse, I used to work in Dixons (which is a big electrical retailer in the UK) and never have I been so shocked by the lack of manners and general intelligence of so many people.

I remember one woman brought back a printer as fault, and the manager asked me to test it. I did, and spent quite a lot of time going throug the installation process with her and her teenaged son. Turned out it wasn't faulty, but her son just hadn't known what he was doing when he was installing it (How the Hell can you get it wrong????). Anyway, this wasn't good enough for the woamn and she got increasingly aggressive and informed me that her son could not get it to work it MUST be faulty, and she wanted her money back. I said no. She wanted to see the manager. I asked the manager, the manager said no. They eventually wne t away, but boy was she obnoxious about it.

And I won't even mention the people who bring back unwanted or faulty gifts on Boxing Day. Never have I seen so many plain nasty people in one place at once.

Glad I don't work in retail anymore.

[Keeper]

I worked in Walden's myself right after college, and the bit about hating the human race in 7 days must be in the employment manual, because I got the same talk! They were, of course, right. The patrons were insufferably rude, and I hadn't dealt with such a parade of pseudo-intellectual masturbatory bull sh** since I'd sat through a freshman level philosophy course with exceptionally "bright" (just ask them) 18 year olds thinking deep thoughts about being unemployed.

By all means, be nice to the book people. More flys with honey...

[REG]

Obviously, the individual you've encountered just have an attitude to begin with. And it often happened where I work at (an office supply store). The only thing we clerks can do is muster up a polite smile, offer the service they want to the best of our abilities, and hope that customer copping an attitude will exit quickly ... before we blow up.

[Aldaron]

I'm reminded of a story I once heard...I don't know how true it is - it smacks of "urban legend", but has <i>just</i> enough reality to it to be possible (maybe that's the definition of urban legend, hel, I dunno! )

The story goes something like this...

There was a fellow, we'll call him "John" who recently lost his job from the Dell Computers help-desk after the following phone-call from a customer:

JOHN: Dell Computers, can I help you?
CUSTOMER: Umm...my computer's not working.
JOHN: Okay, what's it doing?
CUSTOMER: It's not doing anything, just a blank screen.
JOHN: Was it working before?
CUSTOMER: Yes. Up until a few minutes ago, it was fine.
JOHN: What program were you using when it stopped?
CUSTOMER: Microsoft Word.
JOHN: Did you see any error messages on the screen when it stopped?
CUSTOMER: No. It just went black.
JOHN: Ah...I think we might be onto the problem. Can you get around the back of the computer to see the cables?
CUSTOMER [shuffling sound]: Yes
JOHN: Okay. Is the power cable securely plugged into the back of the computer?
CUSTOMER: Yes.
JOHN: And into the back of the monitor?
CUSTOMER: Yes.
JOHN: Okay, I need you to check the power-outlet where they're plugged in.
CUSTOMER: I'm pretty sure they're plugged in. There's no way they could have come unplugged.
JOHN: Fair enough, but could you just check so I could eliminate all possibilities?
CUSTOMER [heatedly]: There's no need to! I'm not stupid - the cables can't unplug themselves!
JOHN: Okay, sir...

[snip going thru moving the mouse, hitting spacebar, escape, hitting reset button, etc, etc, still with no resolution]

JOHN: Sir, I <i>really</i> need yoiu to check the power cables at the power outlet - it's the only thing possible.
CUSTOMER [irritated]: Okay, okay! [shuffling sound] I can't see them.
JOHN [showing great restraint]: Can you move the computer box around, so that you can?
CUSTOMER: No! It's not that I can't see <i>to</i> them - there's not enough light to see!
JOHN [in wonder]: Could you turn on the light?
CUSTOMER: No, there's a power outage at the moment.
[a moment's silence from John ensues...]
JOHN: I think I know what the problem is.
CUSTOMER: Yes?
JOHN: Do you still have the original packaging of the computer?
CUSTOMER: Yes.
JOHN: Okay. I need you to pack the computer back into the box, seal it up and send it to the following address [gives Dell address].
CUSTOMER: Is it really that serious?
JOHN: Yes.
CUSTOMRE: What's the problem?
JOHN [shouting]: You're too f***ing stupid to own a computer, you moron!!!!!!!!

As I said, don't know if it's true or not...but it's a good story, and I personally think John should have been given a medal, not the boot!

[Dan Stack]

Originally posted by Ineti

Common query from customers, "I didn't see it on the shelves; do you have a copy in the back?" I swear that my employees and I heard, "Do you have a copy in the back?" so many times that we were really tempted to say, "Yeah, we have it in the back. I'll take you back there and show you." Then we could proceed to usher them out the back door and toss them in the dumpster or something. Petty I know, but when you're dealing with the dregs of society, what'cha gonna do?

I don't recall if I've ever asked that dreaded question and I don't know the exact circumestances, but is it that unreasonable? I don't know a lot about the operating processes of bookstores and the like, having never worked in retail... But it doesn't seem that foolish. I mean, looking at my local B&N they have tons of Harry Potter books in inaccessible places - located about 15 feet above the floors for example. I'd imagine shelf space is at a premium so it seems possible you wouldn't have every copy of a popular book on the shelves at one time. I'd probably prefer a customer ask me if a copy of a book is available if he or she can't find it than walk out empty-handed....

[Captain Blake]

It kinda depends on the store. Most Walden's are in malls, which usually means higher rents for the retail space. This limits the size of the store, which usually gets taken out of the "Back/Store room" areas.

Most mall stores, IMX, don't have room for anything not on the shelves. The moment that something comes in, it goes on a shelf somewhere.

Most B&N and Borders are stand alones. They usually have more storage space for stuff not on the shelves. So, it pays to ask them.
____

I was assistant manager at a SuperPetz for a little more than a year. We had a loading dock, and absolutely no storage room. In order to put out freight, we wheeled it out into the middle of the store, and started putting it on the shelves.

I actually showed a customer the "Warehouse" once. "No, I'm sorry sir, we just don't have any more of that type of dog food. The shipment of Pro Plan comes in on Wednesday. No, sir, we don't have any in the back. You want to see?"

I was threatened to have the crap beat out of me by a patron once. It was a saturday, our busiest day. I was working on the floor, in the back of the store. Well, I was helping about 6 customers (they were in a cue, as soon as I finished one, I moved to the next one), and this "Gentleman" and I use that term loosely asked for some help. I told him, "I'm sorry sir, I'll be right with you, as soon as I get through helping the customers ahead of you."

So, I finished helping that customer, and started on the next. I was finishing helping that person, when "Gentleman" came up to me and said, "Hey, what about me?" I said, "Sir, there are 4 people ahead of you who have asked for my help. I'll get to you as soon as your turn comes up."

"No, you're going to help me now."

"Sir, there are people that have been waiting for my help longer than you've been in this store. I'll be with you as soon as I can." and with that, I turned to go back to help the next patron.

"Hey, come back here or I'll kick your ass."

"Sir, you don't mean that. "

"Yes, I do, get over here right now or I'll kick your ass."

Now, the funny thing is, that I'm 6'2", and weighed about 250. At the time, I was carrying two 40 pound bags of dog food for that customer. This SOB was about 5'9" and maybe weighed 170.

I turned, looked at him, smiled, set the bags down, and gave him the "Bring it on" hand gesture.

For some reason, he found somewhere else to go.

I also had a woman try to get a refund on a bird that we never carried. She had a peach faced love bird die, and brought the body back into the store. The only problem was that we didn't sell peach faced love birds. We had never sold peach faced love birds. We had black mask love birds, but no peach faced ones. I called the bird lady on the phone, interrupting her, to get her to tell this lady that. I had a three hour "conversation" with this crazy woman, trying to get her out of my store.

Darn, I sure am glad to be out of that job.

Alex

[Dan Gurden]

Well, while we are talking retail, and being nice to customers who dont deserve it.

Allow me to share a deserved shop workers revenge, thats just one from over 6 years in an opticians.

I had a customer who was just plain racist and offensive. The Indian girl who I shared the shop floor with was offensive to her. But she understood that we HAD to employ her for political reasons...

The Irish Optician that tested her eyes was too fat, but 'Those people have a glandular problem.'

So she came out, and that left me as the only person on the shop floor she hadn't offended. During the sale she confided all the above to me, happy in her choice of a good british assistant.

I'm part Italian. So my offence was more for what she had said to my colleagues/friends...

So when she asked to see the manager to lodge, what I felt was a a totally uneccesary, formal complaint, I took certain great pleasure in getting my Boss Tony to see her. Finding that both Sharla and Carole had spoken to him about her.

Tony, a 6 foot tall American Football player from Jamaica (Gitaine was his given name), grinned almost as much as Sharla and Carole at the look on her face when he came to speak to her!

See? It does work the other way, and not one of us showed anything other than polite proffesionalism there.

[Sho-sa Kurita]

Let me preface by saying I have loads of sympathy for all you folks who've had to deal with retail. I personally don't like the general populace, but let me throw one the other way (minor though it be).

I walk up to checkout to purchase some books, the clerk looks at my Iron Man t-shirt and says "Spider-man's a better hero," then proceeds to tell me why Tony Stark is a crappy protaganist. Like I said, it's minor, but I don't even know the guy and he's questioning my taste in superheroes of all things?

[Michael Barratt]

Originally posted by Dan Stack


I don't recall if I've ever asked that dreaded question and I don't know the exact circumestances, but is it that unreasonable? I don't know a lot about the operating processes of bookstores and the like, having never worked in retail... But it doesn't seem that foolish. I mean, looking at my local B&N they have tons of Harry Potter books in inaccessible places - located about 15 feet above the floors for example. I'd imagine shelf space is at a premium so it seems possible you wouldn't have every copy of a popular book on the shelves at one time. I'd probably prefer a customer ask me if a copy of a book is available if he or she can't find it than walk out empty-handed....

I actually sort of agree here, but what most often happens is this: Customer asks "Do you have any <insert book name>?" We walk to shelf, I look. "No, I'm afraid I don't." "Do you have any in the back?"

Okay. You can make a few assumptions. (a) I want to sell you something. (b) I want it to be easy for you to find that something. (c) I'm not lying to you about whether or not I have something. If I thought there was a chance of some in the back, I'd say, "None on the shelf, but let me check the back." Me saying "No, I'm afraid I don't," means... well... No.

The Doc

[Michael Barratt]

Originally posted by Dan Gurden
(snip racism incident) See? It does work the other way, and not one of us showed anything other than polite proffesionalism there.

At my store, I have Mrs. K. She's about as offensively racist as they come. She calls about her special orders and asks us if it's the N-word that are holding the books up? Or maybe it's the Jewish people. Etc etc.

Anyway, one day, Mrs. K comes in and announces that she's only going to deal with me, as I "understand her kind." My manager gives me a semi-apologetic shrug (I wasn't particularly busy, so really, I was supposed to help her if she requested). I went to help her.

At the cash register, after dealing with her for a half-hour and listening to her vomit up racist statement after racist statement ("Is this author black? I don't want to support those people.") I figured I was in the clear, and would take a fifteen minute break and calm down.

She then says, "You know, you're such a good boy. You'll make a lovely husband and father someday."

I couldn't help it. I said, "Thanks. That means a lot to me. My boyfriend and I have been looking into adoption, but it's tough for gay couples."

My god, I swear she nearly fell down.

The Doc

[Ineti]

Originally posted by Michael Barratt


Okay. You can make a few assumptions. (a) I want to sell you something. (b) I want it to be easy for you to find that something. (c) I'm not lying to you about whether or not I have something. If I thought there was a chance of some in the back, I'd say, "None on the shelf, but let me check the back." Me saying "No, I'm afraid I don't," means... well... No.

The Doc

This was the point I attempted to make but wasn't clear about. Since it was a small in-mall store (unlike the standalone Borders or Barnes and Noble) we didn't have much space in the back for extra bags, let alone space for more books.

The bottom line is we usually got the customers who just couldn't take "No, we don't have it" for an answer. This was before the days of Amazon, so I don't know if it's gotten any easier.