Don's "Spider-Man" Review

[Don Mappin]

Score: Two-and-a-half out of five spiders

Brief: The movie adaptation of our favorite web-swinging super hero’s creation gets mired by bad pacing and sloppy CGI. Oh, we also get to see Spider-Man for a few minutes as well.

You would have thought that the translation of Marvel’s hottest property, the X-Men’s skyrocketing popularity in the late 80’s aside, would have been come a lot sooner. Unfortunately it looks like we’ll have to wait a bit longer to see Spider-Man at any great length, for the new movie, “Spider-Man,” is ultimately a character drama rooted in an in-your-face love story.

The surprising thing, however, is this is actually where “Spider-Man” shines: Viewing the relationship between our stereotypical nerd, Peter Parker, and the beautiful girl-next-door (literally!), Mary Jane Watson, to whom has loved from afar since the second grade. “Spider-Man” is more of an excuse to watch Peter and Mary Jane fill the screen with their brilliant chemistry and emotions, while the annoying side-plot of Spider-Man and the Green Goblin pulls you back into reality with their over-the-top battles and lackluster CGI. Just when “Spider-Man” grabs on to you and emotionally involves you, Spider-Man beats up some thugs or awkwardly swings through the cityscape of New York, reminding you that you’re watching a movie.

This is no more apparent than at the first showdown between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin, during a parade in downtown New York where the Green Goblin/Norman Osborn seek retribution for being pushed out of Oscorp via a nasty group of board members. During the battle a CGI Spider-Man leaps from CGI balloon character to character, in an attempt to save the endangered Mary Jane while a CGI Green Goblin flies around, laughing manically.

These encounters are scattered through this origin story while Peter Parker attempts to come to grips with his newfound powers. Sadly, though, the pacing of the movie is quite poor, with long stretches of seemingly nothing happening. It’s almost as if the producers of the movie resigned themselves to having to tell the origins of Spider-Man without really wanting to make it at all interesting. The death of Uncle Ben is a notable exception to this problem.

Die hard fans of the comic book hero (such as yours truly), will find little to complain about, as the creative licenses are few and understandable. Perhaps the largest (and most disturbing) variation is that Spider-Man’s webs are in fact a natural ability, versus a bio-chemical construction of science wiz Peter Parker. This makes sense, considering the fact that Peter is now relegated to being a high school senior for most of the movie. This is also another one of the more disappointing aspects of “Spider-Man,” where one of Spider-Man’s greatest assets, his intellect, does not make an appearance. Spider-Man either punches, kicks, or flips his way out of trouble. The Green Goblin is the only one to actually display any intelligence, leading Spider-Man into not one, but two traps, and even capturing the web-slinger with relative ease. Even Spider-Man’s trademark battle banter is naught to be found. For all these failings, however, “Spider-Man” does achieve what it most certainly needed to do most of all: Set the groundwork for future movies.

The principle actors all do a wonderful job, although Harry Osborn has an unusually large role. Aunt May (Rosemary Harris) is kindly and beautifully portrayed and even the brief appearance of Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson) is done with class and style. The real champions of the movie are Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst have a real chemistry and their frequent appearances opposite one another are what make “Spider-Man” enjoyable to watch. Dunst in particular is pretty amazing. Putting any emotion under the mask of Spider-Man isn’t a problem for Maguire, as the hero has, at best, only 15-20 minutes of screen time, and of those, in the final battle, his mask is conveniently ripped apart. This is fortuitous, as the big payoff of “Spider-Man” is the final battle where Peter Parker has to dig deep within himself to find the stuff of heroes in order to defeat the Goblin—and we get to see this emotion.

Love it or hate it, and everything in between, it’s nice to finally see the Amazing Spider-Man on the big screen at last.

Pros:
Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst are wonderful together
Spider-Man, albeit briefly, finally on the big screen

Cons:
Bad pacing/editing through the first hour
CGI by Crayola
Too little Spider-Man
Action scenes are disappointing and…comical

[Paul]

Based on this review, I don't hink I'll hurry out to see it.

But, Don, don't hold back - what do you really think?

[tonyg]

Man, it doesn't sound good to me.

Ironic that the very element that made the Green Goblin one of Spidy's manjor nemisis has been dropped becuase no one remembers who Gwen Stacy was.

THat would have made a great scene.


I used to like MJ before they reworte the character.

[Don Mappin]

You know I was going to mention Gwen Stacy but figured it would paint me as some kind of asshole purist.

There is Spider-Man, the Green Goblin, a big New York bridge, and a damsel falling to her doom...yet it's not Gwen Stacy.

I don't think 2.5 out of 5 is that horrible--it was an enjoyable movie. Could have been a lot better, though. (A complete and total rework of the CGI for starters.) A few more scenes (in the first hour) should have been left on the cutting room floor, shortening the movie by 15 minutes (it's 2:01 hours long), would have really made this movie better.

Dunst was awesome. When she called Peter "Tiger" for the first time, there was scattered applause throughout the theater. It's fun to watch the transformation from "who are you?" to the dawning that she really likes this guy.

Then Peter casually beats up some thugs, sans any of the trademark chatter, and we get to see her boobies.

[tonyg]

I don't like the fact that no one involved in producing these thing seems to have much knowledge about the subject.

THe way I see it, it was the little details (like Gwen) than made the character popular enough to last 40 years and be worth making a movie about in the first place.

Dunst IS a blonde. And MJ's personality since the 'supermodel" transition is a lot closer to GW than the old "happy-go-lucky" MJ.

And for an ealry Spider story Parker wasn't popluar enough to have a girlfirend.

At least they didn't save Uncle Ben (the ultimate Spidy no-no). Or put him in a black catsuit!


BTW, does the damsel falling to her doom actually hit bottom? That is one of the big difference between "typical superhero" and "Spider-Man".

Any Flash Thompson?

[Phantom]

Originally posted by Paul
Based on this review, I don't hink I'll hurry out to see it.

But, Don, don't hold back - what do you really think?

CGI: though there was too much of it, I thought it was done well enough.

As a whole I thought it was very faithfull to the orgins of Spiderman. Webs, natural ability vs. mechanical contrivence...Don't care as long as they are there, both work for me.

To use Don's scale I'd give it somewhere around 3.8 out of 5. But don't take my word, see it and make up your own minds.

[REG]

Is it so bad, that perhaps Braga may have a hand in the story?

LOL.

I guess it'll be The Scorpion King for my weekend movie viewing then.

[Publius]

I saw it yesterday and thought it was good, well worth the price of admission.
* the CGI was good, they are definitely getting better at integrating this stuff into movies - not perfect, but better,
* some elements of the story had to be adapted for screen time/presentation styles,
* the principal characters were all well acted.

Overall, my vote would be 4 out of 5.

[Greg Davis]

Well, I went to see it last night, and what I managed to see was pretty good. I say that because, right at the mid-point, the projector in the theatre broke, and we were not-so-kindly asked to exit, where we were offered complimentary passes.

While I, too, wish that they would have used the Gwen Stacy character, it seems that, based on what I managed to see, MJ fills the role well enough, as she seems to be part MJ and part Gwen Stacy, though I imagine that the Gwen Stacy bit will fade away as the movie series progresses.

As to the comment about nobody who worked on the movie not knowing anything about Spider-Man, Sam Raimi has said that he's been a long-time reader and collector of Spider-Man, and, if you watch the introductory credits, you'll see a fellow by the name of Stan Lee serving as an Executive Producer. In fact, Stan Lee has said that this movie shows Spider-Man the way Lee always envisioned him.

I can't really comment about the trademark Spidey-banter, but perhaps that's something that will develop as he becomes more comfortable with his new role as Spider-Man? I know that, if I was learning how to use my cool new spider powers and trying to fight my first super villain, I probably wouldn't be too worried about getting in some good verbal jabs...

The only other really good thing I want to mention was the attached teaser trailer for The Incredible Hulk. I'd already seen it online, but I guess most in the theatre hadn't, because when you saw Banner's skin turn green and heard the classic Hulk roar, the whole theatre erupted in applause, which was pretty cool!

So, I'll hopfully get to watch the rest of the movie soon, and when I do, I'll post more complete thoughts about the film.




Greg

[Anarchy Bob]

Went to see it last night and i thought it rocked. CGIs weren't that great i must admit, but anyone who saw the Captain America movie will forgive that after about 5 mins in the movie.

Have to side with don however, there's actually only one line of spidey banter in the whole movie, during the fight with bonesaw.

Oh and relating to the various plot adaptations (ie MJ and no Gwen, bio-chemical webbing and stuff...), one of my friends told me it's because the movie is based on the new series of Spidey comics. This series is supposed to some sort of remake of all the major spidey storylines with some changes.

My favorite comic book adaptation to date.

[Sawyer II]

I would have to say it was the best comic book-to-movie conversion I had seen to date. CGI problems? Well this isn't LucusFilm or Industrial Light and Magic. CGI is a lot better than using puppets, so I don't discount its use.

Spider-Man was all about Peter and MJ. It was a much better 'first movie' than Phantom Menace or Star Trek The Motion Picture. You know exactly the relationship between the two characters. Spider-Man himself will shine in the next movie.

My regret was too little J. Jonas Jameson. Though I thought the actor did a great job. They all did.

[Doktor Evil]

First of all, I'm defenitely not into comic books. I'm not a big Spiderman fan and I know next to nothing about it. Second of all, when asked what I think of a movie, I'm not the kind of person who answers "it rocks" or "it sucks", like a retarded suburban 17-yr old with an inverted baseball cap, a gold chain and a Honda Civic... and from Brossard. Montrealers will now what I'm talking about. I consider most American movies from the late 80s on to be souless blockbusters, marketing products to enrich Hollywood. I only like a very handful of movies from that era. To give you an idea in terms of Hollywoodian movies, I hated movies like Phantom Menace, Titanic, Blade, Pearl Harbour, Tom Raider, MI:2; thought movies like ST Insurrection, Starship Troopers, Lost in Space, The World is Not Enough, X-Men were barely adequate; and movies like the X-Files movie, The Fellowship of the Rings, Mission Impossible, Heat or Ronin were good. Only Star Trek: First Contact and the South Park movie rank as the movies I saw 4-5 times in a movie theater. Now I can add Spiderman to the list.

First of all, the acting is very good across the board. Ian McKellan IS Gandalf; Tobey McGuire IS Spiderman. Simple as that. I'm really glad they didn't chose some teen heartrob (cough attackoftheclones cough) but went for someone who can act and is believable. I was dead sure that Willem Dafoe would "steal the show", but even though his performance was excellent, it was the appearance of Jamison, the Bugle's editor that really did it for me. He reminded me a lot of the Jamison we know from the Spiderman animated series from the 60s. Also, Kirsten Dunst comes out as a likeable and more complex character instead of being some unitone ditsy boob-bearer. James Franco also turns in a good brooding performance as Harry Osborne. Cliff Roberston and the lady playing aunt Mary are also very good. Lastly, you can't go wrong with the apperances of Bruce Campbell and Randy "Macho Man" Savage. While you shouldn't expect something Shakespearian out of a movie about a guy with spider powers, there was very little camp in the acting.

I don't know what's the big fuss with the Goblin's costume? I love it. Especially since you can see Dafoe's eyes and mouth, which I think is an original idea, instead of burrying him under tons of plastic, latex, CGI or whatever. The same goes for Spiderman's costume; I thought it would never work (all that red and blue) but it does.

In the "not-so-good" department, I'd say some of the dialogue between Parker and MJ was weak. Also, and as I expected, the CGI goes from not-that-subtle to grossly obvious. I'd like to think that I'm not paying 12$ a ticket to see something out of Playstation 2 intro.

Yes, 'Spiderman' is a big-assed Hollwyood marketing production aimed at selling tons of overpriced crap made in Malaysia by some kid named Tibor who's paid 10 cents a day, but at least the movie does not insult our intelligence. The best compliement I can make about the movie is that it may not be perfect but it has heart. It is a gem in a ever-growing huge sea of crap.

Oh and lastly, who the f*** is Gwen Stacy? Apparently lots of people gave 'Spiderman' a bad review because she's not in it. Well, I don't give a flying s***. This is my advice to the fanboys who bitch about the Goblin's costume or that Gwen chick : you really should try moving out of you parents' basement. Oh and also, women like it when you shower once in a while.

[tonyg]

Originally posted by Doktor Evil
Oh and lastly, who the f*** is Gwen Stacy? Apparently lots of people gave 'Spiderman' a bad review because she's not in it. Well, I don't give a flying s***. This is my advice to the fanboys who bitch about the Goblin's costume or that Gwen chick : you really should try moving out of you parents' basement. Oh and also, women like it when you shower once in a while.

1) Gwen Stacy was Peter Parker's girlfriend before MJ. Gwen is significant for several reasons. THe relations was heading towards marrige when Gwen was killed by the Green Goblin.
Spider-man tried to save her, but failed. This led to him being seen, and thus blamed for her murder! Since Gwen's father was Police Commisoner Stacey it put a lot of heat on Spider-Man., leading to his being wanted for murder for about 1/3rd of the length of the series.


2) If you don't give a flying s*** you shouldn't ask.

Originally posted by Doktor Evil
This is my advice to the fanboys who bitch about the Goblin's costume or that Gwen chick : you really should try moving out of you parents' basement. Oh and also, women like it when you shower once in a while.

1) Considering that you are on a Star Trek forum I'd think you'd know better that to make fun of people for wanting a film to be true to it's source material.

2) How man of your own posts could we apply this response to? People who live is glass houses (where the spend a lot of time worry about starship combat rules based on a TV series) shouldn't throw insults.

3) I had thought you were above such comments. Sorry that I was wrong.

[AslanC]

Originally posted by Doktor Evil
This is my advice to the fanboys who bitch about the Goblin's costume or that Gwen chick : you really should try moving out of you parents' basement. Oh and also, women like it when you shower once in a while.

Wow... that has got to be the most unenlightened thought process I have ever seen here.

[Paul]

Well, I'll say that I put my initial reaction to Don's review based on the fact that I don't know an awful lot about Spiderman, have no idea who Mary Jane or Gwen are/were, nor know much about the villains or story lines.

I never saw Spiderman on the TV (if, indeed, it was ever on TV), nor did I go out of my way to read the comics.

I could be totally wrong in my hesitation - it may be a fantastic movie. Or, Don could be right and it may not be that great.

However, I do agree that Doktor Evil's comments were a little extreme...