Best jokes in Star Trek

Perrryyy · 05-16-2002, 12:09 PM

"My name is not Wolf, it is Worf"

"Eat any good books lately?"

"Growl for me"

Data cross-dressed & leaning against Worf in the closing scene of "Fistflul of Datas" is classic!

**First of Two** · 05-16-2002, 01:40 PM

Not exactly funny, ha-ha, but a great line and sooo true to character (his and mine both):

Kirk: "The word is 'No.' I am therefore going anyway."

**Sarge** · 05-17-2002, 09:39 AM

Q: What do I have to do to prove I'm mortal?!
Worf: Die.

Lwaxana: Jean-Luc, you simply must stop murdering all my suitors!

Worf: That was an act of unmitigated gall. (beat) I admire gall.

Data: Take my Worf, please!

(splash)
Data: That was...
Geordi: Not funny!

Mudd: ...and every time I think of my wife, I travel deeper into space!

500: Harcourt Fenton Mudd, have you been drinking again?!

Kirk: So that's when you hit the Klingon.
Scotty: No sir!
Kirk: NO?!

Spock: The Tribbles do, in fact, have one redeeming quality.
McCoy: Oh?
Spock: They do not talk too much.

C5 · 05-17-2002, 09:45 AM

Dax's hangover scene in You are cordially invited...

And in the same episode :
Bashir : Miles... it's working... I just had a vision of the future
O'Brien : A vision of the future ?
Bashir : Yes... I'm gonna kill Worf.
O'Brien : Kill Worf.... yeah.

**Chris Blanchard** · 05-17-2002, 03:36 PM

My favorite line from that movie is from the scene where Kirk is trying to explain to the biologist (I can't remember her name either) why they need the whales when his communicator beeps.

"I thought I told you never to call me here."

I just love it.

And, of course, the old lady in the hospital...

"The doctor gave me a pill, and I grew a new kidny!"

**Greg Smith** · 05-18-2002, 06:18 AM

The only mitigating part of STV, when Chekov and Sulu are lost and Uhura comminicates with them. Sulu says 'We've been caught in a snow storm.' Chekov blows into the communicator. Uhuru says 'Sensor show its sunny'. Chekov stops blowing and says 'The sun. Its a miracle'.

**Sea Tyger** · 05-18-2002, 05:30 PM

Checkov: "Admit it, ve're lost!"

Sulu: "Okay, we're lost. But we're making good time."

**Ensign Arrgh** · 10-24-2002, 05:36 AM

Once again, a thread resurrection...

(enters the hyperactive Gospel Choir)

Praise the Lord, O Praise the Lord
For he has sent someone to Resurrect your threads
Hallelujah

(exits the Gospel Choir)

From Rascals,
When Troi is with the Captain in his quarters
Troi - "You could return to the Academy, take another degree, rush up on your latin"
Picard - "And be Wesley Crusher's roommate..."
It says it all...

The whole hugging part as well

And in the Voyager pilot, the opening scene... The Star Wars spoof (they really should have tried to have the same view as ANH for first scene, it would have been better)

**Robbert Raets** · 10-25-2002, 03:39 AM

Originally posted by Ensign Arrgh
And in the Voyager pilot, the opening scene... The Star Wars spoof (they really should have tried to have the same view as ANH for first scene, it would have been better)

?

**Ensign Arrgh** · 10-25-2002, 03:48 AM

The opening scene of Caretaker is a copy of the opening scene of Star Wars IV. The main difference is that they show what's going on in the bridge of the Maquis blockade runner, and they manage to survive to the situation after...

Not that I laughed my ass off, but I found it funny...

**Greg Davis** · 10-25-2002, 04:01 AM

Here's a favorite of mine, from the classic TOS episode City on the Edge of Forever, when Kirk and Spock encounter a policeman, who happens to catch a glance of Spock, sans stocking cap...

Kirk - "My friend here is obviously Chinese. I see you've noticed the ears. Well, they're easy to explain."

Spock - "Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child...

Kirk - "Yes, the unfortunate accident he had as a child... You see, he got his head caught in a mechanical rice picking machine. Fortunately, there was an American missionary nearby who was really a skilled plastic surgeon..."

To our roleplaying group, this was the classic example of a horribly failed Bluff skill check...

Greg

**Capt.Hunter** · 10-25-2002, 04:09 AM

Gotta be "Bloodlines", the ep where Picard thinks he's found his long-lost son:

"...But, you're my son, and like it or not I'm your father. I don't know exactly what that means. I know it means something. But one thing's for sure - you'll never look at your hairline the same way again!"

Cracks me up every time. Picard's line is so serious and "father/son bonding" up till the hairline bit that it just throws you for a loop.

**Aldaron** · 10-27-2002, 04:36 AM

I still want to hear the whole joke, of which we've only heard the punchline (from Generations):

"The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!"

The mind boggles...

Maybe we should have an online competition to see who can come up with the 'pre-punchline' part of the joke?

**Robbert Raets** · 10-27-2002, 08:59 AM

Originally posted by Aldaron
I still want to hear the whole joke, of which we've only heard the punchline (from Generations):

"The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!"

The mind boggles...

Maybe we should have an online competition to see who can come up with the 'pre-punchline' part of the joke?

I'm something of a nitpicker (

), so I gotta say: Data mentions that Geordi told him that joke when they were at Farpoint 'Station', even though they first meet the Ferengi several episodes later! (I mean, doesn't that bother anyone?)

**Ensign Arrgh** · 10-27-2002, 12:33 PM

If they meet the Ferengi in the first part of first season, they could well have spent much time around Farpoint (maybe they kept the name for the Spaceport around) while in the area of Deneb.

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