And may the Farce be with you....

[Robbert Raets]

Time for another funny thread; let's come up with 'better' dialogue for Star Wars.

"Chewie! Chewie's my sister!"
"...for the Farce is my ally, and a laughable ally it is."

And the classic "I sense much beer in you"

[Calcoran]

All right, this one is old as ... something that's quite old indeed. Still: Take one-liners from SW, and replace a key word with "pants". Here are some nice examples:

• I find your lack of pants disturbing.
• You are unwise to lower your pants.
• She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
• These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.
• These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.
• Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!
• Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
• Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
• That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
• Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
• Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
• Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong.
• Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
• I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
• You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.
• A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

It works well with other words too ... some have tried with "penguins" for instance .

[Don Mappin]

Yeti works best, in my experience.

[Calcoran]

I know Yoda's a bit on the weird side ... but "<I>I cannot teach him. The boy has no yetis</I>" ???

[Karg]

Skywalker is here my master

How do you know


I felt him my master

PERVERT


Karg

[spyone]

I read a humorous bit once, that aledgedly was the dialogue for a battle between Yoda and Q (from Trek, not Bond).

The most memorable quotes were:

My bitch you are.
and
Who your daddy is?

I've also got a WAV of Samuel L. Jackson dialogue (mostly from Pulp Fiction) intercut with SW FX and some lines from Darth Vader. I provides a very humorous take on Mace Windu.
DV: Obi Wan has taught you well, but you are not a Jedi yet.
SLJ: Oh, well allow me to retort!
(Sabre igniting)

[Doktor Evil]

That pant thing is hilarious! Someone ought to do it for ST...

"Cry havoc and let slip the pants of war!"

"Captain, pants are down to 29%"

"Use pants on the stun setting"

"The pants of the many outweigh the pants of the few, or the one"

"There'll be pants in here!"

"To boldly go where no pants have gone before"

"We can't beam through sir, their pants are up"

"ST II : The Pants of Khan"

"STIII : The Search for Pants"

"ST VI : The Undiscovered Pants"

"Let see if those ablative pants can hold"

"We are Klingons! We do not flee at the sight of pants!"

[Calcoran]

"Captain, pants are down to 29%"

OMG! ROTFL!

[Sho-sa Kurita]

Pant, etc...

You know, I separated my shoulder again this week (previously 1 sep and 2 dislocations). Anyway, laughing at the 'pants' jokes was physically killing me -- and I didn't care. That was hugely funny. Thx

-- Daniel

[Karg]

Originally posted by spyone
I read a humorous bit once, that aledgedly was the dialogue for a battle between Yoda and Q (from Trek, not Bond).

The most memorable quotes were:

My bitch you are.
and
Who your daddy is?

I've also got a WAV of Samuel L. Jackson dialogue (mostly from Pulp Fiction) intercut with SW FX and some lines from Darth Vader. I provides a very humorous take on Mace Windu.
DV: Obi Wan has taught you well, but you are not a Jedi yet.
SLJ: Oh, well allow me to retort!
(Sabre igniting)

I have one of Sam Jackson Endorsing the Double Bladed Lightsaber......


"The Double Bladed Lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively have to kill every Droid in the room, Accept no substatutes.

Karg

[ComaBoy]

"Today IS a good day for pants!"

(or penguins, or yeti. . .)

[Aldaron]

Of course, the "pants thang" can be done with TPM as well...

"Oh, Ani! I'm so proud of you. You have brought pants to those who had none!"

"I sense an unsual amount of pants for something as trivial as this trade dispute."

"At last we will reveal our pants to the Jedi...at last we will have revenge!"

"But Master Yoda says I should be mindful of my pants."

"Hard to see, the dark pants are."

"Always two there are...A master, and his pants."

"Now, Viceroy...we will discuss <i>new</i> pants!"

"There's nothing of value here...the Queen's pants perhaps, but not in the amounts your talking about."

"No money...no pants...no deal!"

"The pants-toll is catastrophic!"

"We must accelerate our plans...begin landing your pants!"
"But Lord Sidious...are they legal?"
"I will <i>make</i> them legal!"

"Oh! Maxi-big, the pants!"

"Oh don't worry...it hasn't been our day for warm pants!"


Come on...I'm sure there's a lot more!

[Robbert Raets]

"I sense much fear in your pants. Pants are the path to the dark side..."

"I will send you my pants. They will find your lost ship."
"Pants, here?!"

"Will I ever see pants again?"


And now, for something completely different; an Ewok with three weapons.

"On second thought, let's not go to Dagobah. It's a silly place."
"Many Bothans died to bring us this shrubbery..."

"This Sith wouldn't go voom if you put 10,000 volts through it!"

[Aldaron]

LOL, Rob!
How could I forget MP!!??!!

"This is an <i>Ex</i>-Sith! It has keeled over; passed on; given up the ghost...if it wasn't nailed to its lightsabre it would be pushing up daisies!"

Watto: "I have lost everything! But...I didn't want to work in a junkyard! I wanted to be a lumberjack, leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The Larch! The Fir! The Mighty Scots Pine!

With my best Hutt by my side, I'd sing!

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay... "


"Cut in 'alf with a lightsabre? Could be worse...you could be stabbed!"

"From now on, I want you to all call me 'Mon Mothma'"
"Why do you want to be Mon Mothma, Stan?"
"I want to have babies."

"Obi-Wan has taught you well...so tell me the airspeed velocity of an unladen mynock!"
"What? Tatooine or Coruscant?"
"Well...I don't know....<i>aaaaaaaaahhhhh!</i>"

"Luke, run. We're in great peril!"
"It's okay...I'll stay!"
"No, it's too perilous!"

"The Death Star!"... <i>"The Death Star!"</i>...<b>The Death Star!</b>
"It's only a model..."

"Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by rebel spies. I want to know what happened to those plans!"
"I don't know what you're talking about! We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, and you can't come in here....help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

<b>And of course...</b>

"He must be a Sith Lord?"
"Why?"
"He doesn't have shit all over him."

Later....

[Robbert Raets]

Okay, First Contact:

Riker: "Tough little pants."
Worf: "Little?!"

Borg Queen: "There's been a change of pants, Data."

Picard: "Reports of my pants have been greatly exaggerated."

Picard: "You might want to hold your pants on the way down."

Borg Queen: "I bring pants into chaos."

Picard: "The Borg intend to build an interplexing pants."

Picard: "Hold your pants! We're here to help!"

Data: "Eight years, seven pants..."