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While I thought it was all funny, I almost couldn't contain the laughter when I read this part...Originally posted by First of Two
Styrofoam used for EVERYTHING.
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Settling back into his seat on the bridge of the USS Tempest, Captain Matt Hunter straightened his uniform top and smirked as he watched the glowing wreckage of the Borg Sphere fade to nothingness. It'd been a good day to live.
"Captain? I'm picking up a new vessel on sensors. Coming in fast!", his Ops officer reported.
"Can you identify it?", he queried.
"Sir! It's the S.S. Styrofoam Bay!!", Ensign Jones stammered, a look of pure fear on his face.
"RED ALERT! Raise shields and rearm the quantum torpedoes!!", Hunter ordered.
"Incoming hail...", Jones reported.
"WE ARE THE IBG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND GIVE US YOUR COFFEE. OH, AND SOME CHOCOLATES. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."
Hunter thought quickly, "Ensign, call up Starfleet's records on Voyager. Look for the time they encountered the Coffee Nebula. And fast, Ensign - fast!".
Jones' fingers stabbed rapidly at his LCARS display, "Got it, sir!".
"Transmit the coordinates to the IBG, Ensign - while there's still time...", Hunter commanded.
Jones hit the controls, "Transmitting, sir. But what about the chocolates?".
A nervous smile played on Hunter's lips, "One thing at a time, Ensign. I'm working on it...".
Question was, the Captain thought, where the hell was he going to find that much chocolate? Then it hit him...
"Ensign! Contact Deanna Troi on the Enterprise. Tell her she needs to make the ultimate sacrifice for the safety of the Federation...".
"That might have been the biggest mistake of my life..."
"It is unlikely. I predict there is scope for even greater mistakes in the future given your obvious talent for them."
Vila and Orac, Blake's Seven
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Congratulations Liz and Styro.
Oh and don't expect me to come up with something silly or amusing here - I couldn't keep up with the rest of the guys if I tried.
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>shot of a comet drifting through space... suddenly a starship collides with it, backs off, hits it again, backs of and flys over it.<
>CUT TO<
a star-scape
STAR TREK: EXPENDABLE
words cut in as the starship zooms past at high-speed
A STYRO-RAETS PRODUCTION
starship flies slowy out of the bottom of the screen, filling the view... We hear the power build in the warp-drive, and the there is a flash! The nacelles rip from the ship and zoom off to parts unknown... We hear the page: "Ensign Ben Dover To The Engine Room Please"
>FADE OUT<
>FADE IN - STARSCAPE<
We see the U.S.S. Impossible, moving at impulse speed.
>Cut to bridge<
Ensign Mark Expendable, manning the Helm: "Captain, sensors are detecting a small vessel approaching us at Transwarp speed!"
Captain Max Power, the half-Pakled: "Is it that Elysian Perrryyy fella again?"
Expendable: "Negative, Sir. This craft is ... human in origin."
Power: "What the...? I don't understand."
Expendable: "Wait.... I'm reading a weak transponder signal."
Suddenly, claxons sound and Expendable's console locks up, flashing the digits 'IBG' contiuously.
Expendable: "Huh? Is that the Omega Directive again."
Power: "No, that's the IBG Directive. Patch me through to StarFleet command. This is VERY bad!"
Expendable: "We're out of range, Sir!"
Power: "D'Oh!"
Suddenly, we hear a multitude of female voices: "We are the Irish Breast Goddesses. Resistance is Futile. Lower your shields and surrender your Coffee!"
Power: "D'Oh!"
Expendable: "Captain, the Styrofoam Bay is heading straight towards the Heart of the Federation! We must stop them!"
Power: "Stop them? Stopping one IBG is beyond us, let alone a ship full! However, maybe we can divert them...."
Expendable: "Sir?"
Power taps his comm-badge: "Engineerinjg!"
Voice-Over: "Caledonius here, captin. Wha' can I do ye for?"
Power: "Caledonius, I need you to connect the replicators to the Bussard Ramscoops NOW!"
Caledonius: "The Rreplicaters, Sir?!"
Power: "Yes, the replicators. Now."
Caledonius: Aye, captin!"
Power: "Good. Now, Ensign Expendable, keep us as far away from the Styrofoam Bay as possible."
Expendable: "Aye, Sir!"
Power taps his comm-badge: "Bridge to Two-Forward."
>Cut to Two-Forward<
We see a huge female Klingon behind the bar....
She speaks: "M'Tswaa here, Max. Need another beer?"
Power, voice-over: "Um.... Maybe later. M'Tswaa, right now I need you to program our replicators to produce the best coffee know to mankind."
M'Tswaa: "Raktajino Deluxe?"
Power: "That'll do, I hope. Hurry please, millions of lives may depend on it."
M'Tswaa: "It will be done, Captain Power!"
>Cut to starscape<
The Impossible is (barely) dodging the Styrofoam Bay's plasma blasts. A few bolts strike home, and penetrate her shields.
>Cut to bridge<
The Impossible is at Red Alert. Several bulkheads have been breached, and some gas is leaking onto the bridge.
Expendable: "Shields have collapsed, Captain!!"
Power: "Engineering, Two-Forward, report!"
Caledonius, voice-over: "Rredy down 'ere, captin!"
M'Tswaa, also V-O: "I am prepared, Captain Power!"
Power: "Make us go!"
>Cut back to starscape<
Close-up on the Impossible. Her Bussard Ramscoops fold back, and a brown caffeinated liquid starts to pour from them.
Zoom out; the Impossible speeds up, leaving more coffee in it's wake. The Styrofoam Bay follows suit.
>Cut back to bridge<
Power: Take us to warp, Mr. Expendable. Best speed away from the Federation."
Expendable: "Aye, Captain."
>Cut back to starscape again<
The Impossible jumps to warp, as does the Styrofoam Bay.
>ROLL CREDITS<
>FADE TO BLACK<
>PLAY THEME SONG<
The darkness inside me is a lot scarier than the darkness out there....
Banned
When Universal Powers Collide PT 1. (AKA "Liz In The Morning")
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Shouldn't that be Ultimate Weapons of Death and Destruction?
Pray she doesn't come across the Enterprise...
Picard: We don't have any coffee - will Earl Grey do?
Lizcutus of IBG: NO!!!
IBG vaporizes the Enterprise and warps off sulkily...
"That might have been the biggest mistake of my life..."
"It is unlikely. I predict there is scope for even greater mistakes in the future given your obvious talent for them."
Vila and Orac, Blake's Seven
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Married to an IBG for a full year and still alive?! Styroman, you're made of sterner stuff than foam.
+
Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. Psalm 144:1
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OMG!Originally posted by Capt.Hunter
Settling back into his seat on the bridge of the USS Tempest, Captain Matt Hunter straightened his uniform top and smirked as he watched the glowing wreckage of the Borg Sphere fade to nothingness. It'd been a good day to live.
"Captain? I'm picking up a new vessel on sensors. Coming in fast!", his Ops officer reported.
"Can you identify it?", he queried.
"Sir! It's the S.S. Styrofoam Bay!!", Ensign Jones stammered, a look of pure fear on his face.
"RED ALERT! Raise shields and rearm the quantum torpedoes!!", Hunter ordered.
"Incoming hail...", Jones reported.
"WE ARE THE IBG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND GIVE US YOUR COFFEE. OH, AND SOME CHOCOLATES. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."
Hunter thought quickly, "Ensign, call up Starfleet's records on Voyager. Look for the time they encountered the Coffee Nebula. And fast, Ensign - fast!".
Jones' fingers stabbed rapidly at his LCARS display, "Got it, sir!".
"Transmit the coordinates to the IBG, Ensign - while there's still time...", Hunter commanded.
Jones hit the controls, "Transmitting, sir. But what about the chocolates?".
A nervous smile played on Hunter's lips, "One thing at a time, Ensign. I'm working on it...".
Question was, the Captain thought, where the hell was he going to find that much chocolate? Then it hit him...
"Ensign! Contact Deanna Troi on the Enterprise. Tell her she needs to make the ultimate sacrifice for the safety of the Federation...".
ROFLMAO!!
Too funny!
I only use my Transwarrrrppp powers for goodCaptain Max Power, the half-Pakled: "Is it that Elysian Perrryyy fella again?"
ROFLMAOOriginally posted by Robbert Raets
>shot of a comet drifting through space... suddenly a starship collides with it, backs off, hits it again, backs of and flys over it.<
>CUT TO<
a star-scape
STAR TREK: EXPENDABLE
words cut in as the starship zooms past at high-speed
A STYRO-RAETS PRODUCTION
starship flies slowy out of the bottom of the screen, filling the view... We hear the power build in the warp-drive, and the there is a flash! The nacelles rip from the ship and zoom off to parts unknown... We hear the page: "Ensign Ben Dover To The Engine Room Please"
>FADE OUT<
>FADE IN - STARSCAPE<
We see the U.S.S. Impossible, moving at impulse speed.
>Cut to bridge<
Ensign Mark Expendable, manning the Helm: "Captain, sensors are detecting a small vessel approaching us at Transwarp speed!"
Captain Max Power, the half-Pakled: "Is it that Elysian Perrryyy fella again?"
Expendable: "Negative, Sir. This craft is ... human in origin."
Power: "What the...? I don't understand."
Expendable: "Wait.... I'm reading a weak transponder signal."
Suddenly, claxons sound and Expendable's console locks up, flashing the digits 'IBG' contiuously.
Expendable: "Huh? Is that the Omega Directive again."
Power: "No, that's the IBG Directive. Patch me through to StarFleet command. This is VERY bad!"
Expendable: "We're out of range, Sir!"
Power: "D'Oh!"
Suddenly, we hear a multitude of female voices: "We are the Irish Breast Goddesses. Resistance is Futile. Lower your shields and surrender your Coffee!"
Power: "D'Oh!"
Expendable: "Captain, the Styrofoam Bay is heading straight towards the Heart of the Federation! We must stop them!"
Power: "Stop them? Stopping one IBG is beyond us, let alone a ship full! However, maybe we can divert them...."
Expendable: "Sir?"
Power taps his comm-badge: "Engineerinjg!"
Voice-Over: "Caledonius here, captin. Wha' can I do ye for?"
Power: "Caledonius, I need you to connect the replicators to the Bussard Ramscoops NOW!"
Caledonius: "The Rreplicaters, Sir?!"
Power: "Yes, the replicators. Now."
Caledonius: Aye, captin!"
Power: "Good. Now, Ensign Expendable, keep us as far away from the Styrofoam Bay as possible."
Expendable: "Aye, Sir!"
Power taps his comm-badge: "Bridge to Two-Forward."
>Cut to Two-Forward<
We see a huge female Klingon behind the bar....
She speaks: "M'Tswaa here, Max. Need another beer?"
Power, voice-over: "Um.... Maybe later. M'Tswaa, right now I need you to program our replicators to produce the best coffee know to mankind."
M'Tswaa: "Raktajino Deluxe?"
Power: "That'll do, I hope. Hurry please, millions of lives may depend on it."
M'Tswaa: "It will be done, Captain Power!"
>Cut to starscape<
The Impossible is (barely) dodging the Styrofoam Bay's plasma blasts. A few bolts strike home, and penetrate her shields.
>Cut to bridge<
The Impossible is at Red Alert. Several bulkheads have been breached, and some gas is leaking onto the bridge.
Expendable: "Shields have collapsed, Captain!!"
Power: "Engineering, Two-Forward, report!"
Caledonius, voice-over: "Rredy down 'ere, captin!"
M'Tswaa, also V-O: "I am prepared, Captain Power!"
Power: "Make us go!"
>Cut back to starscape<
Close-up on the Impossible. Her Bussard Ramscoops fold back, and a brown caffeinated liquid starts to pour from them.
Zoom out; the Impossible speeds up, leaving more coffee in it's wake. The Styrofoam Bay follows suit.
>Cut back to bridge<
Power: Take us to warp, Mr. Expendable. Best speed away from the Federation."
Expendable: "Aye, Captain."
>Cut back to starscape again<
The Impossible jumps to warp, as does the Styrofoam Bay.
>ROLL CREDITS<
>FADE TO BLACK<
>PLAY THEME SONG<
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