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  • Robb should cut back on the medication...

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Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: A little humor to live up this dead forum....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    the Netherlands
    Posts
    1,459

    Wink A little humor to live up this dead forum....

    Enjoy


    Styrofoam Bay
    Class and type: Customised IBG-1000-class
    Commissioning Date: 2032

    HULL SYSTEMS
    Size: 4
    Length: 143 meters
    Beam: 31 meters
    Height: 23 meters
    Decks: 5
    Mass: 100,000? metric tonnes
    SU's available: 1200
    SU's Used: 1168

    Hull
    Outer 16
    Inner 16
    Borg Ship Regeneration [10pw/r] 40

    Resistance
    Outer Hull: 10 12
    Inner Hull: 10 12
    Ablative Armor: 500 100

    Structural Integrity Field
    Main: Class 4 (Protection 70/110) 25
    Backup: Class 4 (Protection 70/110) 25
    [1power/10 protection/round]

    Specialized Hull:
    Atmospheric Capability 4
    Ramming Hull 4

    PERSONNEL SYSTEMS
    Crew/Passengers/Evac: 24/96/250

    Crew Quarters:

    Spartan: 120 6

    Environmental Systems
    Basic Life Support [7 power/round] 16
    Reserve Life Support = unneeded
    Emergency Life Support 8
    Gravity [2 power/round] 4
    Consumables: 5 year's worth 5
    Industrial Replicator [2 power/round] 3
    Medical Facilities = unneeded
    Recreational Facilities: 5 [10pw/r] 40
    Jefferies tubes 4
    Fire Suppression System [1pw/r] 4
    Cargo Holds: 33.000 m3 1
    Escape Pods: 20 (6-8 persons per pod) 2

    PROPULSION SYSTEMS

    TransWarrrp Drive
    60
    [60pw/r]

    Impulse Engines
    'That's not standard issue'-Class Impulse Engines (.8c/.95c) [8/9pw/r] 20
    Greased Lightnin'-Class Acceleration Uprating [4pw/r] (101% acc.) 8
    Reaction Control System (.025c) [2pw/r] 4

    POWER SYSTEMS

    Woman-Linked Warp Core

    Class B**** PMS/AM reactors 110
    generate 500 power/round
    Non-Standard Impulse Engines generate 64pw/r
    Auxiliary Reactors: None
    Emergency Power:None
    EPS: Standard Flow 20

    OPERATIONS SYSTEMS
    Bridge: Cockpit forward dorsal 20

    Computers
    Horrific MicroScam Brain-Link Core (engineering) [7pw/r] 12
    Beta Class uprating(+2) [2pw/r] 4
    ODN 12

    Navigational Deflector [5pw/r] 16
    Range:10/20,000/50,000/150,000
    Accuracy: 5/6/8/11

    Sensor Systems
    Long-Range Sensors [5pw/r]
    Range: Type 1 (Accuracy 3/4/7/10) 4
    Strenght: Class 1 (Strenght 1) 2
    Gain: Standard
    Coverage: Standard
    Lateral Sensors [5pw/r] 8
    Strenght: Class 1 (Strenght 1) 2
    Gain: Standard
    Coverage: Standard
    Navigational Sensors [5pw/r] 8
    Strenght: Class 5 (Strenght 5) 10
    Gain: Alpha Class (+1) 2
    Probes: 50 probes of various painful types 5

    Sensors Skill: 2

    Flight Control Systems

    Autopilot: unneeded
    Macho-Class Navigational Computer (-1) -1
    Inertial Dampeners
    2 Main: Strength 10 [6pw/r] 16
    1 Backup: Strength 7 [2pw/r] 2
    Attitude Control [1pw/r] 1
    Neurogenic Interface [4pw/r] 4

    Communications Systems
    Type: Class 1 (Strenght 1) [2pw/r] 2
    Emergency Communications [2pw/r] 1

    Tractor Beams
    None.

    Transporters
    Shield-Piercing Personnel Transporter [7pw/r] Pads: 8 26
    Class I Coils (str9) Emitter/Receivers: Type 8 (100,000km)
    Coffee-Transporters [8pw/r] Pads: 1000 kg 18
    Class I Coils (str9) Emitter/Receivers: Type 4 (80,000km)

    Cloaking Device: None

    Security Systems
    Rating: Liz'Hadar 25

    Science Systems
    Rating: 1 (+0) [1pw/r] 9
    No Laboratories or Special equipment

    TACTICAL SYSTEMS

    21st-century LASER-cannon 1

    type A 20 damage [2pw]
    Normal Targeting (accuracy 5/6/8/11)
    Narrow Forward Arc

    21st-century LASER-cannon 1
    type A 20 damage [2pw]
    Normal Targeting (accuracy 5/6/8/11)
    Narrow Forward Arc

    21st-century LASER-cannon 1
    type A 20 damage [2pw]
    Normal Targeting (accuracy 5/6/8/11)
    Narrow Starboard Arc

    21st-century LASER-cannon 1
    type A 20 damage [2pw]
    Normal Targeting (accuracy 5/6/8/11)
    Narrow Port Arc

    21st-century LASER-cannon 1
    type A 20 damage [2pw]
    Normal Targeting (accuracy 5/6/8/11)
    Narrow Dorsal Aft Arc

    21st-century LASER-cannon 1
    type A 20 damage [2pw]
    Normal Targeting (accuracy 5/6/8/11)
    Narrow Ventral Arc

    Arse-Ripper Class Plasma Cannon 40
    type 9 200 damage [20pw] (3 shots)
    gamma class auto interlock (accuracy 3/4/6/9)
    Arc: 180 degrees Forward

    Arse-Ripper Class Plasma Cannon 40
    type 9 200 damage [20pw] (3 shots)
    gamma class auto interlock (accuracy 3/4/6/9)
    Arc: 180 degrees Forward

    Arse-Ripper Class Plasma Cannon 40
    type 9 200 damage [20pw] (3 shots)
    gamma class auto interlock (accuracy 3/4/6/9)
    Arc: 180 degrees Port Ventral

    Arse-Ripper Class Plasma Cannon 40
    type 9 200 damage [20pw] (3 shots)
    gamma class auto interlock (accuracy 3/4/6/9)
    Arc: 180 degrees Starboard Ventral

    Arse-Ripper Class Plasma Cannon 40
    type 9 200 damage [20pw] (3 shots)
    gamma class auto interlock (accuracy 3/4/6/9)
    Arc: 180 degrees Aft Dorsal

    [b]TA/T/TS: Delta Class [4pw/r] 15
    Strength:10 Bonus:+3

    Weapons Skill: 5

    SHIELDS

    4 Class 3 Shields (500 protection) [50pw/shield/r] 56
    4 Type C Shield Grid (+50%) 32
    4 Gamma Class Distortion Amplifiers (Threshold 150) 32
    4 Class 4 Recharging System (30 seconds) 32
    4 Backup Generators 4

    Auto-Destruct System 4

    AUXILIARY SPACECRAFT SYSTEMS
    Shuttlebay: Capacity for 5 size worth of Ships 10

    Standard complement: 5 Not-Beth-Class Mini-Fighters
    Location: Aft Ventral.

    NOTES:
    Also known as the Scourge of the Universe or the Red-Headed Menace, the Styrofoam Bay is the oft-modified 21st century spacecraft manned by the most terrifying result of the Eugenics War; the Liz'Hadar. Always looking for the next shot of Black, these undefeated supersoldiers have destroyed worlds and sacked empires through the centuries. Seeking to erase this vile stain on humanity's and the Federation's history, Starfleet has tried to destroy the Styrofoam Bay on countless occasions, failing miserably each time, resulting in the loss of hundreds of irreplacable officers and inordinate amounts of coffee. It is highly reccommended that you give the Styrofoam Bay and the Liz'Hadar a wide berth, should you have the unfortunate chance of meeting them....
    The darkness inside me is a lot scarier than the darkness out there....

  2. #2
    Perrryyy Guest

    Thumbs up

    One small detail... where are the nacelles? You've got to have nacelles!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Jacksonville, Arkansas, USA
    Posts
    1,880
    Yeah, class 32E nacelles, if I remember the technical specs right.
    + &lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;<

    Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. Psalm 144:1

  4. #4
    Perrryyy Guest
    34E, according to some info I found

  5. #5
    This message has been removed on request by the
    poster
    Last edited by StyroFoam Man; 11-08-2002 at 10:14 AM.

  6. #6
    This message has been removed on request by the
    poster

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Jacksonville, Arkansas, USA
    Posts
    1,880

    Oops!

    Didn't mean to shortchange you, Liz. I guess I need to hit the books and study those schematics a little closer.
    + &lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;<

    Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. Psalm 144:1

  8. #8
    This message has been removed on request by the
    poster

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    48

    Talking

    Motive power: Two vulcans hopped up on espresso, running twin squirrel wheels.

    Whee, look at those little suckers go.

    Alternateive Power: Thrust provided by simultaneously venting all sewer lines astern.
    Rick

    "I'm a soldier, not a diplomat. I can only tell you the truth."

    -James T. Kirk
    "Errand of Mercy"

  10. #10

    Talking

    This message has been removed on request by the
    poster

  11. #11
    Perrryyy Guest
    Originally posted by StyroFoam Man
    Think this is bad? Working on an IBG template.
    God(dess) forbid!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Germantown, Maryland
    Posts
    1,241
    Lookout Q

  13. #13
    Perrryyy Guest
    The Q continuum versus the IBG?

    Seems like cruel and unusual punishment...

    to the Q!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    the Netherlands
    Posts
    1,459
    To mis-quote Meatloaf:

    Bitch-slap out of Hell
    The darkness inside me is a lot scarier than the darkness out there....

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