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Thread: Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

  1. #1
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    Talking Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

    Just a little Sumthin' Sumthin' to brighten your day

    Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

    12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

    11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!"

    10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."

    9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"

    8) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."

    7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

    6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."

    5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."

    4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"

    3) "By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!"

    2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!"

    1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"

  2. #2
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    Thanks. You just made my day. Very funny!

    Now how about "Top Ten Things If You Had A Klingon On the STAR TREK Production Staff?"
    "Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens."

    -Gimli, son of Gloin (The Fellowship of the Ring)

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  4. #4
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    There is one other i forgot

    "Behold, The Keyboard of Kahless"

  5. #5
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    Klingon Star Trek Producer:

    "As opponents, Berman and Braga were... not very worthy. Pass me a cloth, my bat'leth needs wiping."

    I wish...
    "That might have been the biggest mistake of my life..."

    "It is unlikely. I predict there is scope for even greater mistakes in the future given your obvious talent for them."

    Vila and Orac, Blake's Seven

  6. #6
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    "Today IS a good day to compile!"

  7. #7
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    I was browsing this forum in search for the "Poll: Rate Future Tense" (which I incidentally couldn't find ... was it so bad it fell into oblivion? ) when I stumbled upon this little gem from Karg. Then I thought:

    <I>Oh my god! They found my boss's motto! The earth is not safe anymore!</I>


    Can't believe I missed it when it appeared!
    Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine -- once.
    Like the Borg, they learn...
    -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

  8. #8
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    Originally posted by erhershman
    Thanks. You just made my day. Very funny!

    Now how about "Top Ten Things If You Had A Klingon On the STAR TREK Production Staff?"
    I have to do some thinking on this one

    Glad you like Calcoran

  9. #9
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    Originally posted by erhershman
    ...how about "Top Ten Things If You Had A Klingon On the STAR TREK Production Staff?"
    Makeup: "Today is a good day to dye!!"


    Ow! Ow! Stop pelting me with pebbles and rotten fruit!
    The darkness inside me is a lot scarier than the darkness out there....

  10. #10
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    Who cares if the story is good! Release it! Release it, and let the viewers flee like the dogs they are!


    Oops sorry, that should be if Bragga is on you production staff

    Ducking a lot and reading love poems

  11. #11
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    Talking

    "Continuity is for the weak and timid!"
    Greg

    "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
    Madworld, Donnie Darko.

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