Cannon Fodder Comparison

[Hugh Casey]

A friend sent this to me, and I found it amusing... thought I'd share:

True sci-fi Cannon Fodder
Jaffa v Stormtroopers v Cylons:
Jaffa advantages: Armor (except when ornamental helm worn) provides better camouflage, mobility, & improved visibility, staff weapon better suited for hand to hand, symbiot enables faster healing and does much to ensure their dependance upon their masters (key advantage for bosses), also better dialogue ("Prepare to die Sho-va!", "Tek ma té master Bretac.")
Stormtrooper advantages: Armor provides full body protection from poison gas & vacuum, helmet not nearly as awkward when worn, blasters lighter and easier to use in combat. Best dialogue: "The Death star plans are not in the main computer." "Did you see that new THX118?"
Cylon advantages: Blinking red light cool (oh wait that gives good guys a target to shoot at, especially in the dark cylons prefer), short sword for close combat. best dialogue: "By your command."

Please note all 3 suffer from hero-inaccuracy; that is none can hit a hero at any range no matter how many shots are fired. Cylons are also not terribly accurate v. anyone else either.

Star Trek Fodder:
Klingons: Great weapon selection, cool gear, own language and major heroes. Neat ships. Too bad they eat icky food.
Romulans: Cool ships, Shoulder Pads, nasty cold villains. Fun.
Jem Haidar: self-cloaking villains. drug addicts. As one dimensional as you can get, but the most dangerous of the sci-fi fodder to non-heroes.
Cardassians: Thugs, Romulans without the cool (literally, they thrive on steam baths)
Borg: Evil robotic, can assimilate your friends, adaptive defense, massive ships, but no ranged small arms and ignore boarders until they blow things up (why not throw 'em out b/f they cause damage?)
Suliban: Great camouflage... did I mention the Camo? Then there's the camo...

[oops1]

How could you leave out the Red Shirts? Come on now, an entire crew petrified of which shirt the laundry was going to return before the captain assembled an away team

what do you mean the colors bled in the washer???

[erhershman]

Cool. Very cool. But they also left out:

REMANS - Nice weapons and good darkvison, plus freaky looks, but you can get rid of 'em with bright lights. (During the scene in Nemesis where Riker and the Security Team intercept the Reman boarding party, I wanted to yell "Crank up the floodlights, dangit!")

KAZON - Space nomads with bad weapons, worse hairdos, and no transporters. Easy targets for even the most inexperienced redshirt, unless they are masterminded by Cardassian agents diguised as Starfleet officers.

[Robbert Raets]

What about Peacekeepers?

- Utility-uniforms: very modern, very k3wl-looking and actually useful dress-code;
- Best or at least second-best tech all-round;
- Soldiers raised from childhood;
- One word: Prowlers;
Too bad about the discipline problems, huh?