The title says it all, my s.o. (She Who Must Be Obeyed) got this via email from one of her friends this afternoon, so no doubt it either has or will do the rounds before too long. Hope it isn't something you all have seen before.
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Fifty Ways to Kill an Ensign
The problem is something 'bout your clothes, she said to me
The red shirt and the stripeless sleeves yell, "I'm Security!"
And when you get down planet-side with Kirk, you'll get to see
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
He takes a landing party down to find what's going on
A couple of the bridge crew, and some extras come along
And then before you know it - the `expendables' are gone
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
Fifty ways to kill an ensign
CHORUS
Just step on a rock, Jock
Get thorns from some plants, Lance
A Horta can spray, Ray
Just listen to me
Clouds drink up your blood, Bud
Computers can kill, Bill
You could lose all your salt, Walt
Kirk gets away free...
She said it grieves me so to see you with such nerves
Not ev'ryone along with Kirk will suffer from this curse
But then of course, you must recall - they sometimes suffer WORSE!
There must be fifty ways to kill an ensign
Just tell him, "I'm not stupid and I'm not expendable
I'm not going!" Tell him he's a Denebian slime devil
And he's overbearing, swaggering, and dictatorial
He'll find a new way to kill an ensign
Fifty-one ways to kill an ensign
CHORUS
--- GoldED 2.31
* Origin: Muppet Labs, Where the Future Is Being Made Today! (1:249/106.4)
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