The LotR Novelizations (Humour)

[JonA]

Apparently, this Tolkein chap (new author I think) did novelizations for all 3 movies.

I have heard a few criticisms of the novelizations. I wonder if anyone else feels the same.

1. There isn't enough self-doubt in Aragorn. It makes him way too 2-dimensional. Also it badly downplayed his romance with Arwen too much, weakening one of his primary motivations.

2. They reforged Narsil way too early, completely taking away its impact.

3. They took away all of Legolas's best kills, and made Gimli a complete stick in the mud.

4. Way too many extraneous scenes that didn't advance the story. Tom Bombadil???

5. The scouring of the Shire? Why? The story was OVER! Know when to end it, man!

Anyone else see any problems with these poor attempts at a film tie-in?

[Owen E Oulton]

Yeah, and what's up with the pretentious initials? Who does he think he is, George R.R. Martin?

He's also written a bunch of unlicensed spinoffs, including a prequel aimed at children. Sheesh, talk about nerve, eh?

[JonA]

Originally posted by Owen E Oulton
Yeah, and what's up with the pretentious initials? Who does he think he is, George R.R. Martin?

He's also written a bunch of unlicensed spinoffs, including a prequel aimed at children. Sheesh, talk about nerve, eh?

Tell me about it. Talk about milking it.

I hear that he's written something called the Silly Marillion too - apparantly it's unreadable. Whats he take us for? Mugs?

Write some dross - slap on a Lord of the Rings logo and hope people will buy it.

[prophetsteve]

Its amazing that New Line would even allow such a travisty to get printed.

I mean, look at all those characters - hardly half of them appeared in the movie! I swear he added new ones in just so they could make more action figures. Merchandising has corrupted everything!

I cannot believe this author (Tolkien is it?) has leeched all the personality from the characters - I mean Arwyn and Eowyn are a poor shadow of their screen presence. And Faramir! How could Tokien get this tragic character so wrong? Where is the tragidy? the pathos?

And the emphsis is all wrong. Helms deep takes up a good part of the movie but the novel glosses over it. Its clear that Tolkien hasn't even read the Two Towers script; he must be basing his work on some early draft of the script.

In short, skip the novelization and go see the movies in their original form. Clearly New Line didn't let its quality assurance staff have a clear look at this one... or perhaps the greed of movie memorabilia has clouded their judgement. Crap.

[C5]

You know, I think this Tolkien guy actually based his work more of Dungeons and Dragons than on the movie. This would explain the merchandising bent.

[sleepydragon]

Honestly, just look at the story. The Black Breath? Sounds like a cheap knockoff of the 'turning' spell in DnD. And don't even get me started on the use of meta humans, I mean, come on, those elves are clearly lifted straight from the players handbook.

Originality is truly dead.

[prophetsteve]

I mean, come on, those elves are clearly lifted straight from the players handbook.

Naw, I heard on the Internet somewhere that this dud Tokien saw an episode of Star Trek and based his "Elves" off Spock.

I mean, the pointed ears.... its a dead giveaway!

[First of Two]

A lot of it also seems to have been "borrowed" from the SF TV show "Babylon 5." I mean, "Rangers," "khazad-dum" (clearly a rearrangement of z'ha'dum), a hero coming back from the dead, allies coming together to fight a great and ancient evil...

[JonA]

Originally posted by First of Two
A lot of it also seems to have been "borrowed" from the SF TV show "Babylon 5." I mean, "Rangers," "khazad-dum" (clearly a rearrangement of z'ha'dum), a hero coming back from the dead, allies coming together to fight a great and ancient evil...

First is right - Peter Jackson is in serious trouble too.

Mordor - Morden
Lothlorien - Lorien

etc.

This Tolkein fella - he really has opened himself up for a real Intellectual Property/Copyright lawsuit - I just hope PJ and New Line support the decision to publish such poor novelizations (using such a second rate author of pulp fiction) of their films and PJ's obvious plaigerism and unoriginality.